Vaelyn Surana
by Rosilin McKiee
Summary: The story of Vaelyn Surana, elven mage & future hero of Ferelden. Covers the events of DA:O plus some things the game doesn't cover. All rights belong to Bioware, I just had some ideas & ran with them. Rated M for suggestive themes, langauge & gore.
1. Chapter 1

Jowan is whining something at me again. I really don't know why he's trying to talk to me, can't he see I'm busy? I refocus on the doomed creature across the room, the stupid animal had made the mistake of trying to chew into my trunk again. I really shouldn't be practicing my crushing prison spell on a rodent, but it's not like any of the enchanters will let me try it on another mage. That thought makes me smile, there are few potential test subjects I can think of at the moment.

"Vaelyn! I'm talking to you."

I narrow my gaze and give Jowan a long and lethal glare, taking my eyes off of my prey for a moment. He withers under my accusing look, like a damn wilted flower. When did he get so meek...needy? I don't remember this much whining when we were younger. Come to think of it, he's been a bit off this past year. Why am I just realizing this now?

"SQUEAK!"

The rat's death pulls me back to what I was originally doing. There is a satisfying puddle of blood and rat squashed beyond recognition on the carpet near the apprentice beds across from me. Jowan is regarding the small corpse with wide and fearful eyes, his hands fidgeting with his robe nervously.

"Vaelyn, what was that spell you used on the rat?"

"If I tell you you'll just chastise me again."

"I knew it! You're practicing magic above your level! You're going to get us in trouble with Knight Commander Greagoir again!"

I bite back a nasty reply, Jowan isn't completely wrong. Crushing prison is an advanced spell, and mages aren't allowed to even think about casting it till they pass their harrowing. Okay, so maybe it hadn't been the smartest move practicing it where anyone could walk in at any time. Greagoir has already been keeping a close watch on me after the incident in the library where a rat exploded from my walking bomb spell and sprayed him with it's innards. It had been damn hard keeping a straight face as he had raged at me, not knowing he had a rat eyeball stuck in his hair. The memory makes me want to chuckle evilly.

"Lyn, snap out of it, you've got that look again!"

"What look Jowan?"

"The smug look you get when you're thinking about bad things."

"Bad things, Jowan? That's the best you can come up with?"

Jowan starts to speak again and instead closes his mouth and looks at me with those sad puppy eyes. I hate that look, somehow it always makes me feel like I did something wrong. Oh Maker preserve me, those big eyes are beginning to fill with tears. Why would he be tearing up? What did I miss?

"Jowan, stop. Look I'm sorry I didn't hear what you were saying before. You know better then to just start talking at me, my hearing is rarely excellent."

There, that should work. He knows ever since the incident where a young apprentice cast a fireball spell in the library by accident that I've been a bit deaf in my left ear. Yup, there he goes, perking up a bit. Men, they're all sodding big babies.

"It's alright Lyn, I forgive you. I was trying to tell you that you've been summoned to your harrowing! It's scheduled for tonight!"

I am speechless. Utterly speechless. My harrowing? I knew it would be soon, but I didn't think it would be tomorrow. It's a good thing I'm already sitting on my bed, as my legs seem to have turned into jelly. Jowan is watching me carefully, he seems confused by my lack of words. Can't really blame him there, I usually have no problem telling him what I think. I don't have many friends in this Maker forsaken tower. Not a lot of apprentices willingly study the school of spirit, let alone socialize with one who does. A lot of them say it's not fair fighting. Piffle, as if the school of entropy is fair with all their curses and hexes.

I really alienated a lot of them when I started studying the school of primal magic in addition to my study of the school of spirit. Everyone started treating me like I was some sort of show off or something. I admit I almost crumpled under the workload at first, but then I found my stride. There is nothing to do in this damn tower so I had figured I'd make the most of my time here and just maybe I'm a bit competitive.

"Lyn, please say something? Aren't you excited?"

Ah, poor Jowan, all he wants is his harrowing. I imagine he's doing his best not to be jealous. Time to gather yourself together Vaelyn Surana, change is coming whether you're ready for it or not.

"No Jowan, I'm not excited. They don't tell us what it is, so I have no way to prepare. I hate not being able to prepare and you know that."

Damn, he's wincing again. I really didn't mean to have that edge in my voice. Why am I finding it so easy to be mean to him? Oh that's right, he's been off with some woman for a few months now and has been pretty much absent since he met her. And when he's around he's always asking for me to cover for him when he sneaks off to meet her. Still won't tell me who the woman is either. I am supposed to be his best friend damn it, it irks me he won't trust me with his secret.

"Look Jowan, thanks for telling me. I need to go freshen up and then study."

He looks a bit crushed, well he'll just have to deal.

"Alright Lyn."

After Jowan leaves I go and hide in the first floor library. People tend to leave you alone if you look deeply engrossed in a book . It's never a good idea to startle a mage, usually ends up turning you toasty. I've half a dozen books around me on the table and I pretend to be comparing passages. It's not really necessary, I already have read almost every book that they'll allow me to read. After a few hours of being completely immersed in a book on the first blight, I notice most of my fellow mages have left the area for the midday meal. It'd probably be smart to eat something, but I just can't seem to care enough to get up. I will however get a little more comfortable. After grabbing my book I sink to the floor and lean my back up against some shelves in the corner. Ah, much better. I hate hunching over those damn tables, they're a little too tall for me. Jowan says it's because most elves are shorter then humans. There seems to be plenty of elves here, but of course they wouldn't make things more convenient for us.

If I survive the harrowing I should apologize for being so sharp to Jowan. I start to mentally rehearse my apology to him when I feel a funny tingle on the back of my neck. Someone is watching me, intently. I haven't heard anyone talking, so it's not one of the younger apprentices, they never shut up. Well, perhaps I'll just casually stretch my arms above my head and just happen to look around me as I do so. I bring my hands together to crack my knuckles then smoothly turn the movement into a nice big stretch. Just as my arms become fully extended over my head, my eyes lock onto the watcher. It's one of the templars and he's staring at me in the most peculiar way. What the fade? He's staring at my chest! Surprised, I've frozen with my hands in the air, and my bosom posed in an attention grabbing way. Oh maker, he's just shifted his gaze to my face. A blush colors his face a bright red and I quickly bring my arms down and make a great fuss over trying to find my place in my forgotten book.

The templar seems to shake himself mentally and moves out of sight. Well that was interesting. I think I know him too. Gods, what was his name? Colin? No, that wasn't it. Cullen! Hmm, he's even sort of cute. I think he's the one that was on duty when that stupid blond entropy bitch picked a fight with me. She had called me a lot of names, but I didn't react till she started saying that because I was an elf I must be the daughter of a whore. That had been the final straw and I'd slapped her so hard she'd stumbled backwards. I'd been just about to go in for the kill, both my hands poised to strangle the wench when a pair of armored arms had wrapped themselves around me and hauled me away from my prey. I'd then attempted to smack him, but ended up bruising my hand on his armor because of the awkward position we were in. After he put me down, I apologized for attempting to strike him, and he'd apologized for grabbing me. We had even chatted briefly, it wasn't the most interesting conversation but it wasn't bad either.

All too soon it's time to report to the Knight Commander. I'll be honest, I really don't like the man. He tends to yell a lot. So with a stiff upper lip I follow him to the harrowing chamber. Ugh, I hate it when they start quoting the chant of light. Let's hurry up and get this over with. Oh, look at the pretty pedestal with all that lyrium, wonder why we need that?


	2. Chapter 2

Well, that was interesting. I don't know who that demon was kidding by calling himself "mouse". For starters he looked quite a bit too old to have been an apprentice. It was pretty fun poking at him though, even called him a coward. He didn't like that! Really pissed him off when I told him his worries weren't my problem. He seriously needs to brush up on his acting, I was expecting a lot more from a pride demon. He did leave me one good bit of advice though (I know, ironic), "True tests never end." I like that, think I'll use that line at some point.

Valor was pretty cool, even helped me out a bit. Sloth demon was exactly what I expected, even too lazy to come up with a decent riddle. Overall the fade was pretty much what I'd expected, except for the headache. The fuzzy way things look made my head hurt. Not to mention that much lyrium has given me a bit of a magic hangover.

And now Jowan is making that headache worse. His was not the first face I wanted to see upon waking. Especially after having such yummy dreams about that templar, naughty imagination I have. Lets just say it involved a lack of armor and... Damn it! Jowan's still whining something at me, I probably should have been paying attention to him.

"Stop pestering me, Jowan."

Blah, blah, blah. He just keeps talking, I liked the old shy Jowan better then this bolder and louder version. Can't he see I really need to relieve myself and find something to eat? Oh maker, the thought of food is making me drool. My stomach seems to want Jowan to shut up too, as it growls loud enough to interrupt him. Ha, that worked! Now he mutters something about the First Enchanter wanting to see me and scurries out of the room. Whatever, food comes first.

Wow, the gossip is really flowing today. Blood magic, Grey Wardens, even some little tart saying that the templar, Cullen, loves me. Ha! Like that's even possible. I'm not only a mage, but an elf too. Most male humans seem to only consider me a potential servant or abomination. Okay, the one exception is boobs, all males are willing to look at, talk about or touch boobs regardless of who they belong to.

Every time I have to eat the food here I get homesick. My mother was Dalish and she used herbs some people have never even heard of. I've found it helps to eat quickly and get out fast. I also better go see the First Enchanter before they send a templar after me.

A lot of the apprentices stare at me as I climb up to the second floor. I'll be honest, I could care less what they think of me. My father had managed to keep me hidden longer then most children with the gift. Because of that I was older when I got here, eight years old to be exact. Also, I had been yanked from a home that did not fear my magic, and thus hadn't experienced hatred for magic till I met the templars. They had treated me like a poisonous animal and kept threatening me, not seeming to care that they'd ripped me from my home. I hated everyone in the tower at first. Now I like a handful, call a few friend and just have indifference for the rest. Doesn't matter much to me whether you're a mage or a templar. Either way you're a magic user who takes orders from the chantry. Don't get me started on the chantry...

Speaking of templars, look who's on guard duty in the hall. One of the gossipers earlier had mentioned he's the one that brought me to the dormitory after the harrowing. I should thank him, I would've hated to wake up surrounded by Greagoir and the others.

"Oh, um, h-hello. I.. uh, am glad to see your harrowing went smoothly."

I'm finding his awkwardness adorable, that's surprising. I find myself smiling at him.

"Hello, Cullen."

Wow, Vaelyn that was sexy. Hello was the best you could do?

"T-they picked me as the templar to strike the killing blow if... if you became an abomination. I-it's nothing personal, I swear! I... uh, am just glad you're all right. You know."

I blink at him for a moment, way to smooth talk me there boy-o.

"I knew I would not fail."

There, bravado usually works.

"You've always been so confident... or so I heard."

He's blushing now, and I'm staring at him stupidly. He's been watching me a lot apparently. Maker preserve me I think he has a crush on me. That would explain the rumors flitting about. Maybe I should be paying more attention to who's watching me in the future. Our conversation has all but stumbled to a halt, and I quickly make excuses about having to go meet the First Enchanter. My mind is reeling with the fact that a templar seems to be interested in me romantically.

Voices ahead pull me out of my thoughts, the First Enchanter isn't alone in his study, he's talking with Greagoir and another man. I listen to Greagoir rant with a slight smile on my face. Crap, the other man caught me smiling. I cannot help it that I find entertaining when the Knight Commander gets his panties in a twist. Hehe, templar panties. It's all I can do not to chuckle out loud.

"Irving there is someone here to see you."

Interesting, the stranger knows the First Enchanter by name.

"You sent for me?"

The First Enchanter is praising me, this I could get used to. Introductions, the stranger is the Grey Warden everyone is talking about. Uh oh, he's exchanging cryptic looks with the First Enchanter. I think they've been talking about me. Damnation! I knew I should have cleaned up that rat corpse yesterday. I'll just act natural, maybe that's not why they are giving me funny looks.

This Grey Warden, Duncan, is an interesting fellow. He's good looking for a guy old enough to be my father. He and Irving keep talking and I keep using my best manners. My papa would be proud, he always made sure I said please and thank you no matter what. The First Enchanter has me escorting Duncan to his room.

As we walk I pepper Duncan with as many questions as I can. He answers the majority of them, but won't budge when prodded about what Greagoir was upset about. It's very nice to hear about the world outside the tower. Just the thought of life outside this gilded cage makes my skin itch with anticipation. I boldly hinted that I'd love to go help fight the darkspawn, anything to get me out of here without a hoard of templars chasing me.

After leaving Duncan in his room I head back into the hallway. Why does Jowan seem to be waiting for me? Did he follow me here? Maker preserve me, he wants to "discuss something". Boy do I hate that phrase. I still feel a bit guilty for snapping at him yesterday (and this morning) so I'll just go along with whatever he wants.

"I'm glad I caught up to you. Are you done talking with Irving?"

"Going through another personal crisis?"

"Very funny."

Why is he having me follow him into the chapel? And he's muttering something about it being safe here when he's standing next to a chantry hoe. Oh this is fantastic, he's saying she's his girlfriend. I start to laugh but then they both give me a confused look. Maker! They're serious! Quick, say something to distract them.

"Ah, I was beginning to doubt her existence."

Suddenly to conversation takes a turn for the worse. Jowan's going on about being turned tranquil, Lily is backing him up and they want me to fix it. Fix it? Andraste's flaming ass, what can I do? Oh, they have a plan, that's something.


	3. Chapter 3

I should have known better, my normally loud common sense never made itself known, it must have been the lyrium hangover from the harrowing. Now here I am, covered in giant spider guts trying to help the First Enchanter to his feet while Lily whimpers in the corner. Jowan and Lily's grand plan? It stunk, but I'd already promised to help them. Upside? Got to talk to a statue and look at some very rare books. Downside? Jowan's a lying bastard blood mage.

Greagoir is yelling, he blames me now. The First Enchanter's disappointment hurts worse then Greagoir's rantings. I'm not going to argue, there is no point. I'm willing to admit helping my friend try to escape the tower with his chantry sister lover, but I draw the line at assisting a blood mage. I had no idea Jowan was one, and was stupid enough to believe him when he said he wasn't. It's all I can do to hold my tongue as Greagoir slings his accusations around the room. I don't know how I'm still standing, I hadn't completely recovered from the harrowing before all this started. Now after battling a hoard of giant spiders, then the sentinels in the repository and then being sent flying by Jowan's blood magic I'm more then a little sore. Greagoir is readying for another verbal blow when I notice the grey warden, Duncan, walking towards us.

"Knight Commander, if I may. I'm not only looking for mages for the kings army, I'm also recruiting for the grey wardens. Irving spoke highly of this mage and I would like her to join the warden ranks."

Whoa, join the wardens? If it means not going to prison sure, and I did want to get out of the tower...

"Duncan this mage has assisted a maleficar and shown a lack of regard for the circle's rules."

Gee, thanks First Enchanter, your support is heartwarming. Now Greagoir is saying I'm dangerous. I am so tempted to show him just how dangerous I can be. My fingers are twitching with magic, but they still when Duncan speaks.

"It is a rare person who risks all for a friend in need. I stand by my decision, I will recruit this mage."

That really pushes Greagoir over the edge. Duncan ignores his ranting, and doesn't change his mind. Wow, this is really happening. As soon as they finish speaking I look to Duncan and Irving with an expectant look. Duncan speaks first.

"Go pack your things and we will leave first thing in the morning."

Irving is staring at me with an odd look, a mixture of sadness and hope.

"Go straight to your room, you are not allowed to go anywhere without a templar, Duncan or myself."

"Yes First Enchanter. Thank you for everything First Enchanter."

Once in my new room, my stuff having been moved up from the female apprentice dormitory only this morning, I take a moment to try to let everything sink in. Lets see... I discovered Cullen likes me, although that may have changed in the last hour. My best friend is not only a blood mage, but a lying bastard who abandoned me and the girl he supposedly loved to save his own skin. Oh, and I've been recruited to be a grey warden. I suddenly feel a longing to turn back time and just be the elven apprentice everyone ignored.

Sick of wallowing in self pity, I decide to get packing. First to go in the pack is the small pouch of mementos which holds a cat's eye marble, my mother's necklace with the wooden beads shaped like animals, a wolf's tooth and a ring that no longer fits my fingers. Clothing and the like are next to go in the pack, followed by some healing potions I had crafted awhile back. A journal, some ink and a quill. All that's left is some books on my desk. I know every word in them, and they'd be too heavy to carry. However there is one book I'll be taking, it takes me a moment to find where it ended up. Once found, I stuff it into the bottom of the pack and tie the top firmly shut. I suppose I should try to get some rest. With a bit of a heavy heart I pull off my shoes and start to undress. Just as I get my robe off, someone knocks at my door. Startled I clutch my arms across my chest reflexively.

"Just a minute!"

I scramble to pull on a nightgown and then wrap a shawl around my shoulders. My bare feet don't make a sound as I cross to the door and open it quickly. Cullen is standing on the other side holding a tray of food and looking at me with huge eyes.

"Uh, the First Enchanter said food was to be brought to your room."

He starts to blush again as he realizes that I'm not in my mage's robe.

"Oh, um, you can set it over on the desk there, thank you Cullen."

He quickly nods and as soon as I've moved out of his way races across the room and gently places the tray on the desk. While his back is to me I quickly make sure my shawl is covering all it should and do my best to look relaxed by the time he turns around. Cullen looks like he wants to say something, and I raise an eyebrow in expectation. Seeming to take the hint, he clears his throat nervously before speaking.

"I heard about what happened with your friend, Jowan. If it is of any... uh, help, I wish you to know that I believe you didn't know he was a maleficar."

I'm well and truly shocked, and I think my face shows it because he's staring at me intently. I take a step closer to him and stare intently at the floor for a moment before locking my eyes on his.

"It's a great help Cullen, thank you. I've never had many friends in this place and it's good to know at least one person believes I speak the truth."

He starts to smile at me, and I begin feeling a heightened awareness seep through my veins. I cannot take my eyes off of his. I'm so wrapped up in the moment that I don't notice that he's now only inches from me. I'm not sure where these feelings are coming from, but I'm very much hoping he'll kiss me. As if he can read my mind he starts to lean towards me, but then grows cold and pulls away quickly.

"I...uh, wish you luck in your fight against the darkspawn. May the Maker keep you safe Vaelyn Surana."

Disappointment surges through me as with a rush he leaves the room, the door closing behind him with a deafening click. Eventually the cold seeping into my toes from the stone floor forces me to move to my bed. I spend my last waking hours of the night reading a book and eating the meal he had brought. I'm feeling cold, not just physically but emotionally. My anger has shifted from a raging inferno to a dull but constant ache. I will happily leave this tower and never come back.


	4. Chapter 4

Duncan finds it highly amusing that I can read while we walk. The first day he kept staying right beside me, waiting for me to trip and fall. By the second day I can hear him chuckle slightly every time I neatly step over or around an obstacle. I'd manage even better if I didn't have to wear my mage robes and instead could trade them in for a nice set of leather armor. Skirts are annoying.

We're traveling with a band of ash warriors that we met on the imperial highway near Redcliffe. At night we camp separate from them, and during the day we walk ahead but we always stay in sight. Duncan's caution is reassuring, I had forgotten how big the world could be outside the tower. I'm glad now that I'd brought this book on the history of Ferelden with me at the last minute. It's well worth the trouble as it not only is interesting but is heavy enough to kill someone if thrown at their head.

We don't talk much at first but I've learned that I'll do a lot to avoid his disapproving look. I think it's because he reminds me of my father. We've been having light conversation for an hour or so now.

"Truly, you are not using any magic to navigate while you read?"

"No, I swear. My mother is the one who taught me how. She said the ability to multitask is an important one."

"Why would your mother have had need to read while walking?"

"She said it was because her clan was always traveling and she loved to read what few books they had. Her time while they traveled was her own, as when they would stop she'd have many responsibilities."

"So your mother was Dalish then? I thought you had said you were from Lothering."

And just like that I find myself telling Duncan the story of my life before the tower. How my father had been a mercenary when he met my mother. My mother had met him while scouting for her clan, and eventually had left them to marry him. After being badly injured on a job, my father had retired to being a farmer just outside Lothering. My mother died from a plague only a year before the templars took me. My father had begun teaching me everything he knew, from math to how to wield a blade. For my eighth birthday he'd taken me into town to buy me a new book as promised. I stuck to him like glue, not liking the rude looks people shot our way. My father always acted like he couldn't hear the whispered insults and rumors, I had loved the way nothing ruffled his feathers. We were almost out of town when a rabid dog had rushed towards me. Acting purely on instinct I had accidentally managed to cast a lightning spell. People around us shrank away in fear as the dog lay dead in front of me. My father scooped me up and ran for home. We had just gotten home when the templars came. With tearful eyes my father put my mother's necklace around my neck, slipped her ring on my finger and hugged me tightly. He put up a good fight, but in the end the templars got behind him and grabbed me. The last sight I ever had of my father was of him bruised and bloody, kneeling on the ground in front of our house raising a hand in farewell as tears streamed down his face. My birthday present on the ground next to him. Eventually I was allowed to write him, but then his return letters stopped a few years ago. I now suspect he's dead.

I've never told anyone this story before and it feels odd. Most of the other elven mages assumed I had been from an alienage, like them, and I had never bothered to correct their beliefs. I am relieved that Duncan doesn't apologize or try to consul me. Instead he says we'll reach Ostagar before dark, for that I am glad.


	5. Chapter 5

So I've met a king. Not something I expected to ever happen in my lifetime. Also, he was cute. A little too cocky for my tastes but still the shiny gold armor and the perfect teeth didn't hurt. Duncan has reservations about the king's battle plan, and I have to agree it seems a bit reckless. However it is not my call, and they both have a lot of battle experience.

Ostagar is chaotic. Elves and humans are everywhere and it's all I can do not to get lost. I took a wrong turn and some templar had the nerve to try to tell me that mages in the fade cannot be disturbed. Do you think I'm wearing these damn robes for fashion? The only people here that are not in armor are mages, stupid templar.

The quartermaster was even dumb enough to think I was an elven messenger! I know my robes aren't exactly sparkling at the moment, traveling tends to cause dust, but come on! I know I look nothing like the messengers I see running around the camp. So I pulled the whole outraged elf act on his sorry ass. Works every time! Even got me a discount.

Almost all the other mages act as if I don't exist, only one was willing to exchange pleasantries with me. Wynne is her name, a bit preachy but not that bad. I know I've seen her around the tower but as I've never been all that interested in creation magic we never interacted much.

The other recruits are a bit disappointing. A cut-purse named Daveth and a dumb knight called Ser Jory. At least Daveth has a sense of humor, he even managed to hit on me. I'm not interested but it's good to know someone is interested. Helps soothe the wound Cullen gave me.

I'm wandering around looking for the youngest grey warden, Duncan told me to find him. Maker this place is huge! No one seems to know where this guy is either. There! Up on that platform is a guy arguing with a mage. Uh oh, the mage is pretty pissed. I cannot help smiling though as the man I now think is Alistair keeps prodding him verbally. The mage storms off and Alistair's attention shifts to me. Wow, he's cute and has a fantastic smile. I'm such a sucker for a nice smile.

"You know, one good thing about the blight is how it brings people together."

I want to laugh, someone with a sense of humor! Thank the maker!

"I know exactly what you mean."

"It's like a party! We could all stand in a circle and hold hands. That would give the darkspawn something to think about, wouldn't it? Wait, we haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?"

I raise an eyebrow and then brush a hand over my dusty and travel worn robe, trying to give him a hint. He stares at me but doesn't seem to get it. Blonds...

"I am indeed a mage."

"Really? You don't look like a mage. Uh, that is... I don't... how interesting. Wait! I do know who you are, you're Duncan's new recruit from the circle of magi. I should have recognized you right away. I apologize."

"And you must be Alistair."

"Duncan mentioned me? Nothing bad I hope and as the junior member of the order I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the joining."

I'm finding this man very entertaining.

"Pleased to meet you, I'm Vaelyn."

"Right, that was the name. You know it just occurred to me that there have never been that many women in the grey wardens. I wonder why that is?"

"You want more women in the wardens, do you?"

"Would that be so terrible? Not that I'm some drooling lecher or anything. Please stop looking at me like that. So I'm curious, have you actually ever encountered darkspawn before?"

"No, I haven't."

I listen to him talk about the darkspawn for a bit, but then he drops a bomb on me. Something about being trained as a templar. What do I do, attract them? Wait that was a dumb question... I'm a mage, of course I attract them, to want to kill me. At least he's a good looking templar. We chat a bit on our way back to Duncan. I find it very easy to talk to this almost-templar.


	6. Chapter 6

Why do I keep agreeing to help random people? I'm currently on my knees trying to reach a special flower growing in a thicket of brambles in the Kocari Wilds with Alistair, Daveth and the whining Ser Jory. I have no idea why he keeps whining, at least he gets to wear armor. I've fought off a dozen wolves without the luxury of a protective casing around my fragile and all too tender body. If I get rabies I'm going to be really pissed. At least the darkspawn have a tendency to go for the heavily armed men first, giving me time to find a protected spot to cast spells from.

So far my favorite moment in these damned wilds was when Ser Jory and Daveth started panicking. I mentioned that it seemed I was the only man here, and I got this flirty smile from Alistair right before he said, "I know I'm relying on you to protect me." I think I may have blushed a bit before chuckling briefly.

I've also found that I have a talent for looting corpses. I always seem to know which ones are worth the effort to get some spare coin or supplies. We've also found two dead missionaries, a will that lead us to a box for the wife of one of the missionaries, a shade haunting some rocks and that Ser Jory is scared of rats.

Now here comes the best part, we're following a witch of the wilds named Morrigan to her mother's house. I'm doing my best not to fall down laughing in hysterics. Her outfit alone makes me want to laugh. I really would like to know how her top stays in place over her boobs, it looks like a large never-ending scarf. Oh, and she acts like she owns these wilds and we should all worship her feet. Puh-lease, I bet I could take her skinny ass. Hopefully we can get the treaties that Duncan wanted from her mother and get back in time for supper.

Well so much for my good humor. Morrigan's mother is no ordinary apostate, damn. What appears to be a crazy old lady is talking to me, but I can feel the power behind her. This is one big bad lady, and I'm glad she seems to want to help us. I stick to what I know, manners and honesty. She seems to appreciate that. Although her crazy act isn't fooling me, I know behind those eyes she's as sharp as a freshly honed knife.

As soon as we have the treaties the boys and I make a run for it back to camp. The air is thick with the tension of the coming battle, and it keeps us all quiet. There is no more playful banter and smiles. Everyone has a straight face, including myself. Before we find Duncan, I deliver the flowers to the kennel master and sell of all my loot to the quartermaster.

As we approach Duncan I realize I'm nervous, although I'm doing a good job of hiding it. Duncan has just informed us that the joining could kill us. As Duncan and Alistair prepare for the ceremony Jory starts turning chicken. I call him a coward and that seems to shut him up for the moment. I'm starting to like Daveth, I hope he survives this. Maker, I hope I survive this.


	7. Chapter 7

Daveth and Ser Jory are dead. One killed by the taint and the other by his own cowardice. Somehow I've managed to survive. I almost wish I was dead though, as the hangover I have now makes the one after my harrowing seem like a piece of cake.

I've been given no time to recover, as the king has summoned me to a war meeting. First impression? Loghain needs to get his priorities straight. Why does he keep prattling on about the Orlaisians when there is a hoard of darkspawn on our doorstep? I find it interesting that the king knows Alistair's name, he's already forgotten mine and he just met me this morning.

Alistair and I are to light a beacon in a tower. Duncan didn't like it when I agreed with Alistair that we should be in the battle instead of lighting some beacon. He's starting to make me feel guilty... I feel like a scolded child. Alistair seems to feel the same way.

"I get it. I get it. Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

"I don't know. That could be a great distraction, Alistair."

"Me shimmying down the darkspawn line? Sure, we could kill them while they roll around laughing."

Alistair and I are grinning like idiots now with that mental image fresh in our minds. Duncan lets us enjoy ourselves for a second before interrupting with a frustrated sigh but an amused glimmer in his eyes. Then it's time for seriousness. Duncan gives us our instructions and we say our goodbyes. The thunder overheard is ominous and I can't help but feel things are going to get very bad.

I was right, things are bad, really bad. A couple of guards met us once we'd managed to cross the bridge. They told us the tower has been overrun with darkspawn. We fought our way up, till we got to where I stand now. I have to admit, I am terrified. There is an ogre in front of me, and it's eating someone's remains. Alistair yells a battle cry, snapping me back to the task at hand. My hands tighten on my staff as I begin to cast my spells. The air around me crackles with magic. I loose track of time as we battle, everything slows down for me, making it easier to assess what danger to address first.

Alistair and the two guards fight with everything they have, as I keep moving to dodge the giant beast while throwing my spells at it. Adrenaline courses through my veins helping me stay one step ahead of getting squished. In the end I blow the bastard's head off with my walking bomb spell. Alistair got thrown by the blast, as did the other two soldiers. Alistair has picked himself up and looks at me as he pulls a piece of ogre off of himself.

"Really? You had to make him explode?"

I shrug my shoulders and grin, Alistair shakes his head but I catch a glimpse of a smile. We pull an ogre arm away from the wall so we can get to the beacon. It takes me a minute to get it lit, as ogre blood isn't very flammable. With a loud whoosh, the beacon lights and I take a deep breath. Our little party shares triumphant smiles for a moment.

Then Alistair and I freeze, we can sense darkspawn coming up the tower. A lot of darkspawn. We manage to fight off a wave successfully but the soldiers fall as the second wave arrived. Pain roars through my body as I take an arrow to the shoulder and one in the leg. Alistair does his best to cover me as I try to tie a piece of my robe around the wound on my leg to stem the bleeding. It is a losing battle however. Ironically it's the corpse of the ogre that has helped us survive so long, it's torso now looking like a pincushion from all of the arrows embedded in it.

I've taken another arrow, I bite my lip and brake it off before Alistair notices. He's fighting like a man possessed, his battle cry echoing across the room. I'm impressed, I knew he was a good fighter but not this good. The blood loss is starting to make my vision blurry. Am I crying? I cast a mind blast spell with the last of my strength, which helps Alistair take out a genlock rogue that had been trying to flank him. All too soon my vision dims, the last thing I see is a hurlock charging Alistair. Then everything fades and all I can see is black...


	8. Chapter 8

I must be alive. Being dead wouldn't hurt so much. I wait to open my eyes, and run my hands over my body to assess the situation. First, I am in my smallclothes. Second, I have some scars but no gaping wounds. Relieved I open my eyes and find myself in a hut. Someone to my right moves and comes into my vision. Morrigan? Not who I expected to see. I find it alarming that she has been around me undressed. Sitting up I ask her how I ended up here, she seems to be enjoying telling me what happened.

Apparently Alistair is alive too, and we have her mother to thank. My anger at Loghain for betraying us helps me move quickly. I dress and walk outside to find Morrigan's mother and Alistair. He seems to be having as hard of a time digesting all that has happened as I am. We're both angry and very sad. He seems to worry that I'll leave him to be on his own, silly man. Alistair asks Morrigan's mother's name. I would have never guessed her answer in a hundred years.

The old lady says she is called Flemeth. A cold certainty fills my mind, it would explain the sheer waves of power emanating off of her. The legends says she is an abomination, I think that is unlikely. She is something much... more. My brain is still a bit fuzzy and I cannot think of a better way to describe her. I thank her for saving our lives and then Alistair, Flemeth and I talk and figure out a battle plan. She knows as well as I do that the blight cares not for Loghain's plans. As a final gift she sends Morrigan with us. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but we'll have to take all the help we can get.

Morrigan is leading us to a village in the north. We don't talk much, I think I may be still in shock. However I do make sure to always have an eye on Morrigan. I don't think she'll do us any harm but I also get the impression that she isn't here just to help. However at this moment I am too tired to care. Alistair is equally suspicious it seems, but not so good at hiding his feelings and it causes her to treat him with even more disdain then before.

We're out of the wilds and the countryside around me looks familiar. Morrigan never said the name of the village, but I know now where we are heading... Lothering. A small part of my heart gets excited, but the rest of me already knows that I won't find any trace of my father. A burst of loneliness and grief cuts through me. The memory of the last time I saw my father flashes before my eyes. Dane seems to know I'm thinking of sad things, and nuzzles my hand as we walk.

His small gesture makes me smile. Finding Dane was the one good thing to happen recently. Dane is the name I've given the mubari hound that I helped save by finding the special flower for the kennel master. Not only did he warn us of a darkspawn attack but he doesn't mind carrying some of our camping gear. He's more then a pet, in fact he's become my family of sorts. It also tickles me that he keeps leaving dead animals in Morrigan's pack.

Alistair has been quiet since we left the wilds, his grief covering him like a heavy cloak. I want to comfort him but I don't know how, so I let him mourn. I also mourn the loss of all who fell at Ostagar, and their betrayal has kept my anger simmering below the surface. My list of people I'd like to torture has grown longer and Loghain has managed to make his way to the top. I brighten a bit as I think of the many ways I could make the man squirm. Alistair gives me a confused look as he notices the evil smile on face.

"Beat him with pricker bush branches, roll him in lemon juice and then boil him in oil."

"What? Who?"

"Loghain."

"Okay, how about... um, we tie him to a boulder in the middle of the wilds, cover him in honey and raw meat and let the wildlife have at him. I bet the birds would go for his eyes."

Alistair is now echoing my evil smile. For the next hour we go back and forth suggesting the most painful torture methods we can think of. Morrigan even manages to suggest a few good ones involving doing horrible things to Loghain's man parts. We're all in a better mood by the time we reach Lothering.

Then we see men blocking the imperial highway ahead. Dane has moved to be next to my side, his hackles raising as the men move to block our path. I am in no mood to suffer fools, my anger surfaces and it's all I can do not to start casting spells before we even talk to them. My blood lust surprises me, and reason returns until I find out the bastards are bandits.

To be fair I gave them a chance to give me all they'd stolen and leave. I even mentioned being a mage. However their leader was cocky and thought he could take us. His little band was no match for us and all too soon they threw up their hands in surrender. I relented and let them live, making them promise to help defend the village against the blight.

As we descend into the village I stop for a moment and take it all in. I'll be honest, I don't remember the actual town all that well. When I was younger I spent most of my time on the farm or in the woods. I know now that is because my parents were trying to protect me...

Alistair is talking, I wasn't paying attention. Oh, he wants to find out what we plan on doing. I spent all last night reading the treaties, and a vague sort of plan has formed in my mind. Morrigan is being a bitch to Alistair, I tell her to leave him alone and now she's all pissy. I'm too tired of all of this to care. Alistair wants to go to Redcliffe first? Sure, why the hell not.

Lothering is overrun with refugees. I accept the chanter's board bulletins so maybe we can earn enough money to buy supplies. Bandits and dangerous wildlife are little challenge for us. I help those I can, my heart feels for them. I have no problem understanding the pain of losing your home and those you love. I'm getting ready to launch myself at Morrigan, she's chastised me for giving an orphaned boy a silver. Sensing my mood, Alistair is now keeping himself between us whenever possible. I don't think Morrigan even realizes how close she's come to having her hair ripped out and her throat strangled.

Everyone we talk to only gives us more bad news. The wardens are considered traitors, and the general population believes the lies. To make matters worse it seems Arl Eamon is ill. His is sick enough that his wife has sent their knights on a quest for a fabled urn of Andraste's ashes. And then there is the qunari. Morrigan for once shows compassion, shocking Alistair and I. I hate the chantry so very, very much. I will do whatever I can to free this man from his cage, regardless of his crimes.


	9. Chapter 9

Finally, we're on the road again. What an interesting band we make. Two grey wardens, an apostate witch of the wilds, a mubari, an orlaisian chantry hoe with a canny ability to pick locks and a qunari. The chantry hoe is Leliana, and as I told Alistair she's a few archdemons short of a blight in my opinion, but we need all the help we can get. Alistair is giving me the silent treatment for threatening that bitch Mother Hannah when she refused to free the qunari named Sten. If I'd had my way I would have made her take his place in the cage. Morrigan would have helped me do it too.

I am beyond glad to leave Lothering behind us. Almost no one remembered my father, and those that did had no idea what happened to him. Only old Barlin gave me any helpful information. He said there had been a lot of wolves in the area when my father stopped writing, that was also when some people reported seeing a drake in the woods. All I can think is that maybe my father died while hunting. It would be nice to know for certain, but I do not have the time. The darkspawn will not wait.

Every night I am relieved when it is time to camp. The dreams the taint have been giving me have kept me from getting any real sleep since we left the wilds. The last one was particularly vivid and apparently I thrashed around so much that it made Alistair talk to me again. I enjoy talking to Alistair, I really do. Morrigan can make all the jokes she wants about his intelligence level but she's wrong. Alistair is very smart and very blond. There is a difference between ditzy and stupid, just as there is a difference between a lack of social graces and evil bitch. That one got her to shut up for a night.

I also enjoy finding out as much as Sten will tell me about the Qunari. I find his culture fascinating, soaking up any information he gives me. I've managed to pry from him the real reason he ended up in that cage. I would not have done such a thing, but I certainly can understand how it happened now that I know more about his culture.

Oh maker, Leliana is singing again... I'm going to slip away now. I grab a piece of bread, my little book and hustle off to sit away from the others. The moonlight is bright enough to read by, and I settle into a comfortable position leaning against a boulder. I love this book, it's my guilty pleasure. My friend Beth, an apprentice from Amaranthine gave it to me. She had been my one other real friend besides Jowan in the tower. A few years older then me, we had bonded over our love of reading. She had a connection on the outside as her father was a trader who dealt in books. The first time she'd handed me an Antivian romance novel I'd laughed at her. Now they are my favorites. I'd greatly enjoyed losing myself in the romance and adventure after a long day of classes and studying in the tower. When Beth had left the circle after her harrowing she had given me this particular romance as a parting gift.

As I read the noise from the camp fades away, Sten talking with Dane, Leliana's singing, the fire crackling, all of it. I'm in my own little world, completely encompassed in my book. The hours flow past me like water and my eyes grow heavy. I know I should make my way back to my bedroll but the thought of moving doesn't interest me. The soft noises of the night lull me to sleep, my head propped up by the boulder and my book falling from my hand.

Morning dawns with birdsong and the sound of Leliana packing up our cooking gear. I'm surprised to find myself in my bedroll, my book next to my head. Confused I sit up and rub my eyes, I could have sworn I fell asleep next to the large boulder near the woods. Something tickles at the back of my mind, the smell of someone, the creak of armor and gentle hands picking me up. Armor? Only Alistair and Leliana have armor, we've yet to find a set large enough for Sten. I may be small but Leliana would not have been able to pick me up like that. It had to be Alistair...

I close my eyes a moment and think hard. He'd been on watch last night, he must have seen me leave the camp. A memory surfaces, his arms holding me close as he walked with me in his arms. I remember the feel of a finger brushing my hair behind my ear gently. I had snuggled against him, welcoming the warmth from the cold night. A blush colors my cheeks at the memory and I busy myself with packing up my things careful to not look at anyone till my face cools.

As we continue on our march towards Redcliffe I watch Alistair whenever he is ahead of me. Things are changing between us, we're no longer just fellow grey wardens. There is something more, something strong enough to make me feel flushed when he's close. I've started quizzing him about himself, wanting to know more. He deflects with humor but ends up telling me a lot in the end. I don't like Eamon's wife already, although Alistair makes excuses for her. No one should treat a child like that. He also tells me tales of his time with the other wardens before Ostagar. Smiles and laughter are becoming increasingly easier between the two of us.

Even Morrigan seems to be softening a bit, no longer snapping at everyone. I think my comment about being a bitch has made an impression. She's begun opening up about her life in the wilds and I give her tales of life in the circle as well. All too quickly she's learning not to disparage those of us who come from there. She had started to tell me how foolish I was to let myself be imprisoned but I stopped her with a look. It was then that I told her that if it wasn't for her mother being who she was that she would have ended up in the tower like I did. Most of us had no choice but to join the circle, the templars took us when we were too young to fight back, our non-mage parents having little chance against them. She insists she'd jump from the top of the tower if she'd been in my shoes, but I don't believe her.


	10. Chapter 10

Alistair has just dropped a bomb on me. He's a royal bastard, a prince, a... an heir to the throne! I'm suddenly cold, and joke with him to cover my fear. If he's a prince then there is no way he'd want a mage for a... You know what? I'm not going there. We'll probably not even live long enough to worry about him being a prince or a king or whatever.

We've decided to leave Leliana and Sten outside of the village to watch for the darkspawn. There is no reason for us to linger here, as we should just be able to pop in and ask for the Arl's support if he's well. If he's not then we'll just move on to the next stop.

* * *

><p>So much for that plan. I've spent the last day battling the undead and crawling through filthy dungeons in an attempt to get to the Arl, who I've been informed was poisoned by a mage hired by Loghain. After surviving the night I sent for Sten and Leliana to guard to village while we try to sneak into the castle.<p>

And now Jowan is here. That's right, Jowan, the backstabbing blood mage is here. We found him in the dungeon being harassed by some undead. I step in front of his cell and his eyes get huge before he speaks.

"By all that's holy... you! I can't believe it..."

"Took the words right out of my mouth, Jowan."

"Maker's breath! How did you get here? I never thought I'd see you again, of all people."

I didn't think I'd see you again either, you bastard.

"So you're the mage Lady Isolde mentioned."

His eyes show shame and regret.

"You've spoken with her. Then... you know I... poisoned Arl Eamon. For all I know, he's already dead."

"He's not dead... at least not yet."

"He's not? That's a relief, I can't tell you how much. Please I know how it seems. Poisoning the Arl was... a terrible thing. But I'm not behind everything else happening here, I swear!"

He looks at me, and I'm surprised to see truth in his eyes. I go to speak but he interrupts me with a sigh and a pleading look.

"Before I say anything else, I need to ask you a question. You can do whatever you feel you need to afterward, but I need to know... Lyn, what became of Lily? They didn't hurt her, did they? The thought that she might have paid for my crime..."

I start to pity him, but then stop myself.

"You should have known better, Jowan."

"You're right, I should have! But please... just tell me if she's all right!"

I could lie or I could be cruel, but I can't quite bring myself to do those things.

"The chantry sent her away. I don't know where."

"Oh my poor Lily. She must hate me now, if she even lives. What have I done?"

He turns away a moment, but I know he is trying not to cry. I'm having a hard time steeling myself against his show of emotion. We'd been friends so long, regardless of his betrayal. Having gathered himself, Jowan turns back to face me through the bars.

"So, Vaelyn. Here we are again, the two of us. What happens now?"

"Are you responsible for what's happened here, Jowan?"

"I... I know it looks suspicious, but I'm not responsible for the creatures and the killings in the castle. I was already imprisoned when all that began. At first, Lady Isolde came here with her men demanding that I reverse what I'd done. I though she meant my poisoning of the Arl.

That's the first I heard about the walking corpses. She thought I'd summoned a demon to torment her family and destroy Redcliffe. She.. had me tortured. There was nothing I could do or say that would appease her. So they.. left me here to rot."

"Why did you poison Arl Eamon?"

"I was instructed to by Teyrn Loghain. I was told that Arl Eamon was a threat to Ferelden, that if I dealt with him Loghain would settle matters with the circle. All I wanted was to be able to return. But he abandoned me here, didn't he? Everything's fallen apart. I never thought it would end like this! Maker I've made so many mistakes. I disappointed so many people... I wish I could go back and fix it. I just want to make everything right again."

I'm not surprised by his confession, or by the fact that Loghain was involved.

"Why did you listen to Teyrn Loghain, of all people?"

"Why wouldn't I? I was desperate, and this is Teyrn Loghain we're talking about, for Andraste's sake! Why wouldn't I believe him."

All this is making my head hurt.

"But this doesn't explain everything that's happened."

Jowan swallows before speaking, I know that look, that's the look he always gave me before dropping a bomb.

"Connor had started to show... signs. Lady Isolde was terrified the circle of magi would take him away for training."

This has gotten Alistair's attention.

"Connor? A mage? I can't believe it!"

Jowan nods his head.

"She sought an apostate, a mage outside the circle, to teach her son in secret so he could learn to hide his talent. Her husband had no idea."

Ideas start whirling through my head and I don't like where they're coming from.

"Perhaps Connor is responsible for what has happened."

"I thought that, too. Connor has little knowledge of magic, but he may have done something to tear the veil."

I know all too well what that could mean, and it makes perfect sense. I quiz Jowan on how much he taught the boy and how certain he is that the Arl did not learn of his son's talents. I look at Morrigan and she has the same look that I have, the boy has most likely become an abomination.

We need to get moving, Bann Teagan has walked into a far more dangerous situation then any of us could have realized. Sensing my wish to go Jowan looks at me with his sad eyes again.

"The Arl's a decent man. I wondered how he could possibly be the threat Loghain said he was, but I did it anyway. I'm such a fool."

I look at him closely, somewhere in there is the boy I originally became friends with.

"So what do you intend to do about it?"

"I'm just sick of running away and from what I've done. I'm going to try to fix it, any way I can. We were friends once. I know I don't deserve to call you that, after what I did... if it ever meant anything, please... let me help fix this."

"I helped you once in the name of friendship."

"And I betrayed you. And Lily. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please, I'm begging you! Won't you help me try and do one thing right in my life?"

I suddenly feel like crying, and I'm not sure why. Morrigan wants me to free him, and Alistair can't get past Jowan being a blood mage. Morrigan makes a point of asking whether it's Alistair or the templar speaking. Alistair says something about common sense and not knowing the whole story yet. During our talks Alistair managed to get the story of how I met Duncan from me, he'd been appalled at first that I'd tried to help a mage escape the circle. But then I'd explained what life was like there and how close Jowan and I had been. He'd understood in the end.

"Give me a chance, please!"

I look at Jowan and relent.

"So how will you make things right?"

"I'd... well, I'd try to save anyone still up there. There must be something I can do to help."

"That's commendable, if it's true."

"I'm glad you think so. So what now?"

"I'm letting you out of your cell."

"You're letting me out? And what then?"

"You come with me, that's what."

Fear flashes across Jowan's face.

"I'm... not sure that's a good idea. I'd like to help out, but... I'm not so sure I want to follow you into danger, exactly."

"Beggars can't be choosers. Come or stay here."

"Then I'll wait. If you change your mind, I will be here."

I give Jowan a look of great disappointment before making my way onward. I can feel Alistair at my back, concern and caring radiating off of him. Morrigan stays quiet, by now knowing that it would be best to keep her tongue still. Dane forges ahead, marking his new territory as we go.

We have found the smith's missing daughter, battled even more undead, a few shades and some others. I have only contempt for Isolde now, all this suffering happened because of her. Isolde is so good at seeming to be the victim, but she knew her son was possessed and she still made Teagan go with her. Not to mention the fact she tortured Jowan when had already told her everything he knew. And then is there the way she treated Alistair when she saw him earlier. I have nothing but disgust for this woman.

I am certain now that Connor is being controlled by a desire demon, all it talks of is wants. For the moment it is quiet as we've scared it upstairs. Teagan has recovered from his being a thrall and seems to share my anger at Isolde. He goes to retrieve Jowan and we get down to business.

I am sorely tempted to let Isolde sacrifice herself to save her son. It is her fault all this has happened. However I am not the one who gets to pass judgment on her and it would hurt Alistair if I killed the woman married to his foster father. It is with great reluctance that I agree going to the circle is our best bet. I had hoped to leave them for last, but no such luck.

Before we go, we clear out the rest of the undead on the first floor of the castle so everyone will be safe while we're gone. I eye all the Arl's books in his study with great longing. There is an interesting one on his desk, curiosity gets the better of me and I take a quick peak in the drawers. Right on top in one of the drawers is an amulet that looks just how Alistair described the one of his mother's that he'd smashed years ago. I quickly slip it in the pouch on my belt and hurry back to meet the others.


	11. Chapter 11

Dane found me a 100yr old bottle of wine... don't ask me how, but he did. Everything at the castle has really gotten to me and I'm now enjoying this bottle of wine immensely. We need to detour to Denerim because we still can't find armor for Sten and Alistair has a sister there, oh and Leliana's old boss is there too (she tried to kill us). Connor and the Orlaisian bitch (Isolde) will have to wait awhile longer then planned.

Alistair has come to sit next to me. I think I may be a bit tipsy, because all I want to do is curl up into a ball on his lap and have him hold me. He's watching me with those decidedly sexy eyes of his, concern showing.

"Are you alright Vaelyn? You're a bit flushed."

"I'm fine. Wine?"

He takes the bottle from me skeptically but smiles after taking a sip. I love his smile, makes me... tingly. Wow, I have had too much wine.

"Has anyone ever told you how handsome you are?"

Oh shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud. Alistair looks at me with a slight smile on his face.

"Not unless they were asking me for a favor. Well there was that one time in Denerim, but those women were... not like you. Why, is this your way of telling me you think I'm handsome?"

Well in for a copper, in for a sovereign.

"And if it is? What then?"

"Oh, nothing much. I just get to grin a bit and look foolish for awhile."

We're both grinning now, and I've a nice warm fuzzy feeling from head to toe. I've leaned in very close and find that we're staring into each other's eyes. Suddenly the world seems to disappear around us and all I can focus on is his very attractive lips. An urge to see what those lips taste like fills my entire being. I don't know whether it's the alcohol or the sleep deprivation impairing my judgment, but I move in for the kill. The kiss is everything I've dreamed about, sending waves of heat through my entire being as my lips touch his. His mouth is softer then I expected. He's frozen in place for a heartbeat, but then softens and dives into the kiss with a passion that sends a thrill down to my toes.

Shocked but pleased I pull back upon the completion of the kiss, a smile lingering on my lips. Alistair's eyes are bright with a similar look, and a thrill of excitement rushes through me as I realize he enjoyed the kiss as much as I did. We don't talk afterwards, but we do lean on each other while we finish what's left in the wine bottle.

It's then that I feel something hard poking me in the side and remember the necklace hidden in the pouch on my belt. It takes a good deal of effort but I sit up and manage to pull it out without falling face first into the fire. Feeling a bit nervous I offer it to him. He's shocked but happy and seems to be surprised I remembered him talking about it. Silly man, of course I remembered. He clutches it tightly and offers me a smile that makes me feel very special. I sigh happily and return to leaning against him and watching the flames dance in the campfire.

Eventually I start to doze off while leaning my head on his shoulder. Before I completely pass out I manage to say goodnight and make my way to my bedroll without falling over. A pleasant hum runs through my body as I snuggle into my blanket.


	12. Chapter 12

Denerim smells, I'm not going to lie. It's also loud and there are a lot of people. Sten mutters something about the children in the streets being too small and needing to go back for more training, he looks confused when I laugh at him. I've sent Dane back to camp after he tried to keep one of the street urchins as a pet. Someone should keep an eye on Morrigan anyway. I don't like leaving her alone for long but she had no wish to come into the city.

I'm getting used to being stared at. It's not everyday people see a qunari, let alone one walking with a elven mage. I ignore the crowds and instead focus on finding armor for the eight foot tall Sten, not an easy feat. A dwarf seems to think someone named Wade might have something, it's at least worth a look. I've sent Leliana and Alistair to get more food supplies and hopefully some tents. I'm sick of hoping the trees will keep rain off of me.

Oh thank the Maker! Wade does have some heavy chainmail that fits my giant! Sten looks much more forbidding clad in bright steel. I'm suddenly very glad that we're not enemies. Sten has recently confessed that he loves cookies. Knowing that about him has made me feel somewhat protective of him. As we leave the armorer, I look at Sten and grin.

"How about we slip over to a bakery and buy some cookies before Alistair and Leliana catch up?"

Sten is actually smiling and follows me as we make our way through some alleyways. We find a bakery and scare the baker half out of his wits when Sten steps into his shop. After he gets over his fright he is more then happy to sell us a large box of cookies at half price. (What? I'm not exactly rolling in silver right now, so I'm not going to turn down an opportunity to spend less coin!) If we were good we'd save some cookies for the rest of our group, but Sten and I decide to walk slowly and let fate decide. If there is any cookies left by the time we find Alistair and Leliana... well then we'll share.

Alistair and Leliana are not at our meeting spot, I look at Sten and shrug. Maybe I'll just go take a quick look at the chanter's board. Oooh, looky here! Loghain's troops are going after some of the Bann's men. Maybe I'll just have to stop by and see if any of Loghain's men need some extra "help". The urge to laugh manically is strong, and I decide it would be best to leave the chantry courtyard and get back to Sten quickly. An older sister is reciting the chant for the heathen masses as I pass her, and I don't think about it much until I hear what she's saying.

"The Veal holds no uncertainty for her, and she will know no fear of death, for the Maker shall be her bacon and her shield, her foundation and her-"

Oh Maker! That is the best version of the chant I have ever heard! By the time I get back to Sten I cannot stop giggling and it's making him look at me with confusion. As soon as we're around the corner I stop and laugh out loud. Tears stream from my eyes and I put a hand to my chest as I try to catch my breath. While I'm still laughing Alistair and Leliana show up, and the looks of confusion seem to make everything even funnier to me. I cannot stop laughing and find myself clinging to Sten in an attempt to stay upright.

"Sten, what is she laughing at?"

"I know not."

Alistair should have known better then to ask Sten, who doesn't usually say more then five words a day.

"Vaelyn? What's so funny?"

I look at Alistair and try to regain my composure, but then I hear the word "ham" drift around the corner and start laughing even harder.

"The chant... hehe! Veal holds no uncertainty..buhahahaha! Bacon! Oh Maker.. I can't *gasp* stop...laughing! Hehehahahahe!"

Leliana looks at me with concern and then addresses Sten with great solemnity.

"Has she been drinking again? Eaten anything odd?"

Sten thinks for a moment and then shakes his head.

"No alcohol has passed her lips while she has been with me, and the only thing eaten has been cookies."

At the mention of cookies Alistair eyes my robe and Sten's armor with great suspicion. Guilt takes hold and helps me to finally stop laughing. I clear my throat and brush off my robe quickly, hoping there are no cookie crumbs on my person.

"So... Alistair, why don't we go find your.. uh, sister?"

Distraction successful!


	13. Chapter 13

I don't care if she is Alistair's sister (and I'm not sure that she is, she looks nothing like him), Goldanna is bitch! I am tempted to wait until Alistair is out of sight, then march back in there and slap her stupid face. I think Sten knows what I'm thinking, as he's standing close and looks like he'd be willing to heave me over his shoulder if I try it. He had to all but drag me away from her house as it was.

Alistair is too good for that woman, and I'm going to make sure she doesn't take advantage of him. I tell him he needs to learn that most people are only looking out for themselves and he needs to remember that. My words seem to echo something he's already been thinking about and he says he doesn't want to talk for a bit.

"That's fine, but how about we go get a drink?"

He nods at me and we head towards the Gnawed Noble. To my surprise Leliana says she doesn't feel like a drink and asks Sten to go look at shoes with her. Sten starts to object but then she whispers something I can't quite catch and he goes willingly with her. I'm not sure I like that, what in Thedas is she up to?

Luck is with me for a change as a corner booth is unoccupied in the tavern. I tell Alistair to sit and then head to the bar to get our ale. I'm not a big fan of ale, but I am a fan of alcohol. One of the apprentices back in the tower had a still hidden in his closet. Humbert guarded it closely but was a sucker for fluttering eyelashes. He also had no ability to bluff while playing cards. Oh those were some good times...

Alistair and I don't talk for the first two rounds, by the third we're talking about the weather. The forth leads to gossip about our companions. We are currently on our sixth round and I'm not sure what time it is. Alistair is laughing at a joke I told him, which is hilarious as the only jokes I know involve templars and how they must be compensating for something with all that huge armor.

Apparently he is too drunk to care, and I'm just realizing that I am too. I'm finding myself increasingly curious about what his romantic life has been like before I met him. I tell myself it's just curiosity, but deep down I know that's not entirely true.

"So, If you were raised in the chantry, have you never...?"

"Never? Never, what? Had a good pair of shoes?"

"Oh, you know what I mean."

"I'm not sure I do. Have I never seen a basilisk? Ate jellied ham? Have I never licked a lamp post in winter?"

"Now you're making fun of me!"

"Making fun of you, dear lady? Perish the thought! Well tell me, have you ever licked a lamp post in winter?"

He's put a delightedly sexy tone into that last sentence and I find my self staring at him intently with some heated images in my head. I think I've been reading that Antivian romance too much. I take a large sip of my ale to compose myself before I answer.

"No, I've never licked a lamp post in winter."

"Good, I hear it's quite painful. I remember one of the younger initiates did it on a dare once and there was pointing and laughing. Oh, the humanity. I myself have also never done... it..that. Not that I haven't thought about it, of course. But, you know."

"You've never had the opportunity?"

"Well, living in the chantry is not exactly a life for rambunctious boys. They taught me to be a gentleman. Especially in the presence of beautiful women such as yourself. That's not so bad, is it?"

I'm blushing, he thinks I'm beautiful. I'm not used to being complimented, but I like the way it feels.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course you are, and you know it! You're ravishing, resourceful and all those other things you'd probably hurt me for not saying."

I blink at him in surprise before looking at my hands with great intensity for a moment.

"I'd never hurt you."

"Nor I you."

Deciding that perhaps it was time to get while the getting is good, I finish my ale and go pay our tab. Alistair joins me at the door and we make our way out of the city and back to camp in thoughtful silence, but holding hands.


	14. Chapter 14

Our trip to the circle is more eventful then I had expected. There is a lot of darkspawn in the area and we seem to run into more every day. I am almost always covered in their blood, the rotten smell of it burns my nostrils. I think my robe is permanently stained. We managed to rescue some refugees, but they are heading in the opposite direction and will have to fend for themselves from here.

The thought of walking back inside the circle tower is giving me a lot of mixed emotions. A very small part of me is happy, but the rest of me just wants to run the other direction. I keep making detours to look for herbs, thus giving me more time before we arrive at Lake Calenhad. I think my hesitation to return has gained Alistair and Sten's attention, as they keep shooting me concerned glances. Leliana is oblivious, she keeps saying how grand it's going to be for me to return as a fabled grey warden. She keeps forgetting that the majority of Ferelden considers us traitors and would happily turn us in for some coin.

Sten is irritated as I've made us stop and make camp earlier then usual, when we could have pressed on and made it to the lake edge by midnight. I mumble something about it looking like rain, but he doesn't seem to be buying it. Where we've camped is right next to the river, and I'm planning on taking advantage of that later. It's my night to cook, and I manage to get a respectable stew put together. It's not overly flavorful but it's filling. A soft cloud of silence has settled over the camp and I feel no need to break it.

When darkness finally falls I slip away to the river, my arms full with clean small clothes and a blanket to dry myself off with. I've gotten quite good at walking silently in the woods, not even making a rustle as I slip through the bushes near the river. Maybe it's my Dalish blood showing, but I feel very at home amid all the greenery. Moonlight is shafting through the canopy overhead and I stop for a moment to enjoy it's beauty. That's when I hear a splash up ahead. Curious, but on guard I duck and move forward towards where the sound came from. Magic is boiling beneath the surface of my skin, my fingertips tingling in anticipation of having to cast a spell.

The sight that greets me through the parting of the leaves ahead however douses any thought of spell casting. My blood grows hot and I can feel my face flush. Apparently I'm not the only one who thought of washing in the river. Alistair is standing naked, with the water up to just above his belly button, washing himself. I cannot stop staring at his bare flesh, his muscles rippling beneath his skin as he scrubs off the grime from traveling. Maker, words fail me. My mouth has gone dry and I find myself wondering if he'll step into shallower water and... Now he's ducked himself completely under to rinse himself off. He bursts back up to the surface and just one word runs through my head... delicious.

Something in the woods makes a sound and Alistair freezes, eyes searching the woods in front of him. Oh Andraste's ass, what if he sees me? Mortified I wait till he's looking the other way and quickly retreat, only looking back over my shoulder once and catching a glimpse of his decidedly attractive backside. Making a big circle, I find a bit of river upstream that should work for my own bath. All I can think about as I scrub is what I saw earlier. I know part of what I'm feeling is lust, which is to be expected from a repressed mage. However there is a deeper feeling lurking under all that wanting. I let my mind dwell on my feelings while I finish up washing. I finally get out of the water once it has made me cold all the way through. Shivering I dry myself off with the blanket and then pull on my very worn spare small clothes. I shake out my robe and put it on quickly, grateful for it's warmth.

I'm careful not to make eye contact with anyone when I get back to camp. I tuck away my dirty clothes in my pack before hanging the blanket on a tree near the fire to dry. Taking my hairbrush with me, I move to sit next to the fire. I watch the flames dance before me as I brush out my long hair, as I took the time to wash it while in the river. It feels so good to have clean hair again! Time ticks by, my body and mind too tired to do much more then play with my hair as it dries, watching the flames. The firelight makes my brown hair look more like auburn with hints of gold, like how I remember my mother's hair. The thought of her makes me smile, and thinking warm thoughts of her I curl up on my bedroll and for once have a deep and dreamless sleep.

Morning dawns grey and cold, I've slept late but the others have cleaned up the campsite while I slept. Pleasantly surprised I step back onto the road with a happier feeling in my heart. My good mood continues when we find a lead as to where Sten's sword may be, Sten is still doubtful that we will find it, but I know we will. Everyone except Morrigan seems to echo my brighter mood. My dark thoughts about returning to the tower have been replaced by gleeful ones of rubbing my new status in the faces of those who used to treat me badly at the tower.

My good mood has Alistair smiling at me a lot, and I can't help smiling back. I find it so easy to talk to him, and he seems to feel the same way. Morrigan keeps making faces at us as we talk, I could care less. We've dropped back to the back of our group and I feel myself blush with happiness when Alistair takes my hand in his as we walk.

Time heals all wounds. Maybe things won't be so bad when I get there...


	15. Chapter 15

Stupid pride, stupid optimistic thoughts. I hate the flaming fade! Images of my fellow mage's bodies strewn across the tower haunt me as I fight my way through this demon created nightmare. I will have this sloth demon's head on a plate, Maker mark my words. A cold and deadly purpose fills me now. I care not for the dreamers' reasons, just accept the help of their powers and move on to the next challenge. One by one the demon gatekeepers fall before my will. Freeing my companions from their prisons isn't so hard, and I'm not surprised when they are not allowed to stay with me.

As angry as I am at the sloth demon, I am angrier still at Uldred. That stupid prideful bastard! Every death is his fault, not only resorting to blood magic but convincing the weak willed to follow his footsteps. I blame the Chantry and it's bleeding templars next. If they didn't treat us mages so badly then no one would be tempted to take such drastic measures. Someday there will be an incident worse then this, and it will be because of their cruel treatment of my fellow mages, mark my words.

Killing the demons that stand before me has started to fill me with a strange glee. My bloodlust will not be stopped by their paltry spells and talents. My whole being roars with the righteous magic that courses through my veins. I now look forward to the next confrontation with the darkspawn, for I will picture each one with the picture of a templar or member of the chantry. Damn them all to the void, I care not for their twisted views of right and wrong anymore.

The sloth demon is using every ounce of his power against me and my friends. I do not falter, my spells fire from me in a never ending chain of destruction. The demon hesitates after changing his shape again and I see my opening. Alistair freezes with surprise when I pull a dagger from his belt before charging. With a satisfying gurgle I separate demon's head from his shoulders, hot blood splattering my face for a moment before the world goes black.


	16. Chapter 16

If I wasn't so grievously injured Greagoir's astonishment would tickle me pink. I told him abominations would not stop me and I did not lie. After taking the Litany of Adralla from poor Niall's body we quickly cleared the tower. It was a bit awkward finding Cullen alive. Alistair kept giving me a funny look as Cullen mentioned his "ill advised infatuation" with me. I must have looked beet red while Cullen rambled on.

It's more then a little weird having some guy you used to know admit he thought of you that way in front of your... friend? boyfriend? fellow warden? Alistair and I need to talk about exactly what we mean to each other...

Greagoir keeps droning on, and I'm starting to feel a bit faint. The pride demon formally known as Uldred did a number on me. I was trying to protect the first enchanter when it sent me flying against the wall of the harrowing chamber. To make matters worse a hunger abomination took advantage of my being knocked down and did it's best to eat me. I'd managed to impale it's ugly head on the end of my staff, but by then the damage had already been done. I'm fairly certain I've broken a few ribs, and I don't want to know what the abomination did to me but I want to be free of this damn tower before I tell anyone. Finally Greagoir shuts up and lets us speak to the First Enchanter about Connor. Once I have his promise of help I manage to walk out of the tower on my own two feet, Wynne accompanying us. I think I agreed to let her join us, but honestly cannot remember speaking.

I don't know how, but I've made it to the boat, my head is swimming and my hands are shaking. Maker please let me make it to shore, I pull my cloak around me tightly to cover the growing blood stain on my side. I refuse to die anywhere near that damned tower.

"Lyn? Did you hear me?"

Snapping to attention at the sound of Alistair's voice I turn to look at him, confusion clouding my eyes for a second.

"What?"

"I said you're looking pale, are you alright?"

I start to shake my head, but turn it into a nod when I realize we're not far enough away from the tower yet to stop them from turning around. He's watching me with a great amount of intensity.

"I'm fine, just very tired."

It's all I can do not to let the pain make my voice crack. Concern radiates from him, and I can tell he doesn't believe my words. To my surprise he gingerly moves closer till he can wrap an arm around my shoulders and lean me against his side. Once he has me close he moves his mouth next to my ear and whispers gently, his warm breath tickling my neck. His voice is soft and full of emotion.

"You don't fool me, Vaelyn Surana. But I won't tell the others till we are far enough from the tower."

I let a grateful noise slip from my lips and let my head rest against his shoulder, the steady beat of his heart through his armor somehow comforting. Feeling me slump, Alistair reaches around and pulls me onto his lap, holding me like I might brake if jostled. The support is welcome, and I place a hand on his breastplate. He shifts to hold me closer and I feel him frown when his hand finds the wet patch under my cloak. I close my eyes, as I know he is probably glaring at me with anger and worry.

"Don't fret, I'm not planning on dying yet."

After speaking, I do my best to give him a reassuring smile, and get a soft one in return. His hold on me is firm but gentle, and keeps me anchored in the present despite the urge to let the encroaching blackness envelop me.

When the boat hits the dock near The Spoiled Princess I wince. I try to get up but Alistair won't let me loose and instead carefully stands and manages to disembark from the boat without jarring me. The fact that he's carrying me has alerted our other companions that something is not right. Wynne is asking if I'm injured, Leliana is suggesting returning to the tower if that's the case.

"NO."

Alistair's simple but firm command makes them all go silent.

"We return to camp and make sure Sten and Dane have fared well in our absence. Leliana take the lead and make sure there are no traps on our way. Morrigan, I trust you can make sure we're not followed. Wynne you will stay with me and Vaelyn."

This is an Alistair that the others have never seen before, but they obey him without hesitation, including Morrigan. I knew he had it in him ever since that night in the tower of Ishal. Everyone begins moving towards our destination quickly. As soon as the others are out of hearing I smile up at the handsome face above me.

"Bravo, my dear. Duncan would be proud."

My compliment seems to light my templar up from the inside for a moment, but then it's once again replaced by worry as he looks at my face.

"Lyn, you're very pale."

I do my best to shrug, but the pain stops me from completing the motion. I must be losing the battle of hiding my pain as he frowns at me more intently.

"Silly stubborn woman.."

I pass out before I hear the end of the sentence, my last thought being it wouldn't be so bad to die in the arms of the handsome man who cares for me.


	17. Chapter 17

Voices and light tickle my consciousness. My eyes are closed but I can feel the sun on my face, and a warm and calloused hand clasping one of mine. Pain and magic seem to be warring in my body. I can feel the spells fighting the poison in my veins, and the bones trying to knit.

"You need to be patient Alistair, she should be dead. It is a miracle that she lived long enough to leave the tower. You shouldn't have made us wait to treat her."

"I know Wynne, but she wouldn't let me."

"You shouldn't have listened to her, young man."

"What's done is done."

"Truer words have never been spoken."

I want to tell Alistair that I'll be okay, but my tongue won't work. The pain has been building and I feel it starting to overwhelm me again. I'm desperate to show Alistair that I'm glad he's there. I focus all my will to make my hand squeeze his. The effort uses the last of my strength and a roaring blackness overtakes my senses.


	18. Chapter 18

I can't tell how long I've been unconscious, but I do know that the air is cold and I can no longer feel the sun. Oddly, I'm not chilled as there is something warm and comforting against me and draped across my middle. The pain is still there but I don't feel any of the poison in my veins anymore. Relief shudders through me, and moving alerts me to the fact that the warmth I'm so grateful for is someone laying next to me. Confused I open my eyes to find a sparkling night sky overhead. The fire is crackling and casts a warm glow on the man asleep at my side. Alistair looks so young and carefree in his sleep, lying on his side with his body forming a protective wall between me and the woods. His sword is next to his head, his arm as his pillow and his free hand is lightly resting on my stomach.

I feel very safe and the hurt in my body is overshadowed by the feelings I have for this man who has been protecting me. Unbidden, a thought flickers in my brain, I think I love him... With a great deal of effort I move my right hand till it covers the one he has on my middle. Sleep once again claims me, but I don't let go of Alistair's hand.

Softly spoken words tickle my ear and rouse me from a very nice dream.

"Vaelyn, wake up."

"Five more minutes..."

A quiet chuckle makes me slowly open my eyes. Alistair is leaning slightly over me, his brown eyes warm and looking amused.

"You won't let go of my hand, my dear. It's gone quite numb. For a small woman you have the grip of an ogre."

A blush fires up my skin, flooding up my neck and completely covering my cheeks as I stammer an apology and release his hand all while not being able to tear my eyes from the tempting lips above me. My heart is beating fast and hard, and I find myself wondering if his lips would taste the same as the last time we kissed. Pure wanting lights my eyes, and Alistair's chuckling has been replaced with a look of hunger.

Ever so gently he lowers himself closer, careful not to put any weight on my injured side. My body soars as our lips meet. Completely lost in the kiss and wanting more I find myself wrapping my arms around his neck. A satisfied groan escapes from him as I pull him closer. His mouth tastes the same as last time, decidedly Alistair and perfect.

Although I may wish otherwise, I end the kiss when the pain in my side makes me dizzy. For a moment we stay still, forehead to forehead and just enjoying the contact. My revelation from the night before resurfaces and makes me appreciate this moment all the more. All too soon the sound of Wynne approaching forces us to move apart, Alistair helping me to sit up slightly and drink some water.

"Well, look who's awake. Perhaps now, young man, you will believe me that she will be fine."

Alistair flushes slightly and looks away from Wynne, locating his forgotten sword in the process. Wynne's critical eye is watching him closely, and I think it would be best to distract her.

"Thank you Wynne for healing me. How bad were my injuries?"

Wynne's attention snaps back to me and her expression turns to one of slight disapproval.

"You are welcome, but it was sheer foolishness hiding your injuries. You would have fared much better if we had been able to stay at the tower to heal you. I had limited resources so you will have a large scar on your side. Your ribs should be mostly healed by now, but you will ache for awhile yet. As for that wound on your side... you are lucky that you survived that at all."

I take her concerned chastising with good grace but I find it surprising that my ribs have healed so quickly, those must have been some pretty impressive healing spells.

"I must have not been injured that badly if I am mostly healed already."

"Not injured badly? You were in a coma for a week young lady! It took all my skill plus help from Morrigan to keep you alive those first few days. If not for Alistair keeping constant watch over you we would have not discovered the poisoned tooth stuck in your hip."

Coma? A week? My eyes shift to Alistair for confirmation and he nods at me confirming that what she says is true.

"How long has it been since we left the tower, Wynne?"

"Two whole weeks. You've been in and out of it for the last few days. Alistair and Dane have been taking turns keeping constant watch over you. You should eat now that you're awake, I'll go fetch you some broth."

With a swish of robes Wynne spins and marches over towards the fire. The other members of the party are stirring and beginning to wake. I knew I'd been badly hurt but I didn't realize that it had been that bad. Fear tickles my spine that I almost died without fulfilling my mission to save Ferelden from the blight, let alone anything else. A couple of tears trickle down my cheeks, embarrassed, I try to wipe them away with the sleeve of my robe.

"You know Lyn, I knew underneath all the bravery you had to be just as scared as me. I'm not so sure I like being proven right however."

Alistair opens his arms and pulls me close, comforting and supporting all at once. I rest my head on his chest and close my eyes as I snuggle closer.

"I don't want to fail, Alistair. I don't want to let Duncan and the other wardens down... their deaths must not be made meaningless."

"Hush now, you won't fail my little dragoness. I won't let you. I should have been watching you closer when we fought that demon, I'm sorry it hurt you."

Surprise flutters through me as I hear him speak, he blames himself?

"Alistair, it was not your fault, it was mine for not staying put. I should have not done what I did without proper protection. I have a tendency to forget that I'm not wearing armor. I need to remember that robes offer very little physical protection."

"I still should have been watching you closer. Maybe we should find a set of lightweight armor for you? Some protection would be better then none..."

"That's a good idea... Oh, and 'little dragoness'?"

I don't have to look, I know he's blushing as soon as I mention the pet name he used a moment ago.

"Yes... well... you're protective, fierce, beautiful and a force to be reckoned with. I...uh, thought it fit."

I smile to myself stupidly for a bit before speaking, his compliments having gone straight to my head.

"I like it... a lot."


	19. Chapter 19

Our trip back to Redcliffe is grueling for me. The others try not to move too fast, but I know we've wasted too much time as it is. Dane is a great help, always just within reach to support me when I get weak. He's such a large hound that I almost could ride him, almost. I sleep like the dead each night, but wake every morning a little less stiff. The gash along my side has closed finally, although it still hurts every time I breath. The dull ache of my recovering rib cage doesn't bother me much and seems like nothing compared to my other injury.

Alistair's eyes are on me whenever they're not watching for darkspawn or bandits. We still haven't really talked about "us" but there is definitely something going on. We've managed to steal a few more kisses once the others have gone to sleep, but other then that our time is spent traveling double time to save Connor and the Arl.

The closer we get to Redcliffe, the more I find myself thinking about Jowan. I don't know what to do with him, and I suppose that it won't be my call. I wish I knew why or how he ended up on such a bad path. Long ago he was a good mage and a great friend. I don't know what happened, it just seemed like one day he was different and there was no going back after that. We'd been so close that it was as if we were siblings at one point, but somewhere along the way Jowan changed... or maybe I changed, I'm not sure. Either way he will have to pay for his actions, whether in this world or the next. I'm glad it isn't my call, as I'm not sure what to do.

Tomorrow we will reach Redcliffe. While the others set up camp, I take Dane with me to a nearby pond to wash my dirty clothes and freshen up. I cheat only a little, using a spell or two to dry my clothes so I don't have to leave them where everyone can see to dry overnight. I get back to camp and put them away, Dane leaving me to go watch Leliana teach the others how to play Wicked Grace. I chuckle as Sten wins another hand, and Morrigan curses his ability to bluff so well.

I step over towards the fire and hold my palms out over it to warm them. The nights are getting cooler, all too soon winter will come harsh and unforgiving. Strong arms envelop me from behind, wrapping themselves around my middle. I lean back against the strong chest, surprised to find that he is not wearing armor. As if reading my mind, Alistair smiles down at me.

"Sten's on guard duty with Dane tonight."

I smile back up at him, raising a hand to trace a finger along the line of stubble on his chin. His hand reaches up and grasps mine, his eyes suddenly showing fear. Concerned, I pull back and look him in the eyes.

"Alistair, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, look, can we go somewhere and talk?"

Fear courses through me as those words leave his lips. Go somewhere and talk? Maker! I've heard the other mages say that line many times, they usually preceded someone running away crying their eyes out. Is he going to break up with me? Is it because I'm a mage? an elf?

"Lyn?"

Not able to look at his face I stumble away from camp with an ache deep in my chest. I bury my hands in the pockets of my robe to hide their shaking. Once we're in the woods I stop near a tree and wait for Alistair to catch up. Determined to not let him know how scared I feel, I bite my lip and square my shoulders for whatever is coming.

"All right. I guess I really don't know how to ask you this."

"Ask me what?"

I watch his face with great intensity... He's been off talking to Leliana a lot, since even before we got to the tower. Maybe he's been seeing us both. I thought what we have is real. I have never felt this much attraction for a man before, let alone loved like this. If he's dumping me I may just go off and let the darkspawn take me, well, after I kill Leliana. Oh Maker, I need to stop thinking!

"Oh, how do I say this? You'd think it would be easier, but every time I'm around you, I feel as if my head's about to explode. I-I can't think straight."

His rambling has snapped me back to reality. I make his head explode? Whoa now! I know exactly what he means, he has the same effect on me... He does have feelings for me! Oh Andraste's flaming sword, hurray! I'm feeling very emotional suddenly, all warm and fuzzy again. It's all I can do not to jump up and down with relief. Stupid brain jumping to conclusions!

"That's very sweet, Alistair."

I give him a smile and it seems to help calm his nerves a bit.

"Here's the thing: being near you makes me crazy, but I can't imagine being without you. Not ever."

My smile is getting much larger now, and I've stepped a little closer. Alistair seems to be gathering his courage to say something. My heart is pounding like crazy in my chest.

"I don't know how to say this another way. I want to spend the night with you. Here, in the camp. Maybe this is too fast, I don't know, but... I know what I feel."

Did my heart stop beating? I can't hear anything and my palms have gotten all sweaty.

"Even though I'm not human like you?"

Gah! Why'd I say that? Oh just kill me now. But Alistair chuckles and then smiles at me.

"Especially because of that."

I feel a blush of happiness engulf my whole body. It's all I can do not to throw myself at him this very second. Alistair still seems a bit nervous and I want to make sure he really wants this. I'd hate myself if I hurt him by rushing things.

"You want to spend the night? Are you sure, Alistair?"

"I wanted to wait for the perfect time, the perfect place... but when will it be perfect? If things were, we wouldn't have met."

I know exactly what he means, the stupid smile is back on my face as he continues talking.

"We sort of... stumbled into each other, and despite this being the least perfect time, I still found myself falling for you between all the fighting and everything else. I really don't want to wait anymore. I've... I've never done this before. You know that. I want it to be with you... while we have the chance. In case..."

Now I understand the fear in his eyes. I almost died once already and I don't want to die without experiencing as much of life as I can. Being a grey warden has already made our likely lifespan shorter then most. I don't want to waste another moment.

"No need to say anything else, love. I agree."

I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him close. His arms wrap around me as his lips meet mine. Passion flares and turns my whole body into something molten and liquid. I fit my hips against his and smile through the kiss as a groan escapes him.

Alistair's hands begin to explore my body, slowly and tortuously. Every inch of me feels more alive then ever before. All the aches and the pains have disappeared in the wake of his caressing fingers.

When one of his hands finds a breast beneath my robe, I jerk at the flood of sensation that hits me. Unsure, Alistair stills his hand. Desperate for more, I nip at his lower lip to get him to resume his assault on my senses. A decidedly lecherous look lights his eyes before he resumes teasing me.

I cannot stand the barrier of our clothing between us any longer. I want to touch and feel the skin I saw that night by the river. Hungry hands undo the buttons and ties on his clothing, while his hands eagerly do the same to my robe.

Our discarded clothing makes a soft place for us to lie, and as soon as I can I begin my exploration of his body. Fingers tracing the scars and teasing the muscles under his skin. Every touch sends a tremor through his body, and the power of it makes me smile. His hands haven't stilled and their stroking has me aching for him. It only gets worse when his mouth finds one of my nipples. My gasp is met with an evil sounding chuckle, but he doesn't stop his teasing. Oh Maker, I had no idea I could feel this good...


	20. Chapter 20

I don't know how long we spent under those trees, but we certainly discovered a lot about one another. Now I know why so many of the other mages used to sneak off and come back looking so pleased. I'm certainly feeling pleased, very pleased.

We're trying to pull our clothes back on before one of the others comes looking for us. After pulling my robe back on, I throw Alistair's tunic at his head with a giggle. He's got a smile on his face like a cat who got into the cream.

"Hmm, You know, according to all the sisters at the monastery, I should have been struck by lightning by now."

"Not for that performance."

"Meaning it was so great that the Maker Himself has decided to spare me the usual punishment, right? Right? Aww."

I'm blushing again, and I cannot stop smiling as I manage to pull my stockings and boots back on without falling over. My brown hair has fallen out of my bun and keeps hanging in front of my eyes as I check to make sure I didn't forget any other item of clothing. Alistair smiles and moves to tuck some of my hair behind my ear.

"You do realize the rest of our little party here is going to talk, right? They do that."

"Let them talk, I don't care."

I really don't, damn it all. I finally found something wonderful in all this blasted horror and death. I'm not going to let anyone take it away from me.

"Oh, sure, now you say that. By tomorrow it'll be icy glares and awkward silences right before battle, just you watch."

I answer his mischievous smile by sticking out my tongue at him quickly. He chuckles and I step into his arms again to give him one more quick kiss. He kisses the top of my head before turning serious and looking back down at me.

"So... what now? Where do we go from here?"

His questions catches me a bit off guard.

"We stay together, no matter what happens. I'm not losing you."

"Right, I can handle that."

"Good."

"Before we go, have I told you that I love you? I did? Well it won't kill you to hear it again, will it?"

That stupid grin is back on my face again.

"I love you, too."

"See? Was that so hard?"

I pinch him hard on the arm for his insolence and make a run towards the fire.

"OW! What was that for?"

I look back and shrug, but then squeal when he comes after me. I skid to a halt in front of the fire and look for a weapon to defend myself with. I find a large wooden spoon and whirl just in time to whap him on the head with it.

"Ow!"

Giggling, I make a run for my tent, not caring that everyone else is now starting at the almost-templar chasing after the mage with a stick in his hand and muttering something about revenge. He swipes at me but I manage to dodge sideways, and instead trip on my robe and end up hurtling forwards. I sit up quickly and find that my back is to my tent. Brandishing the spoon in front of me I back into my little cave and wait for Alistair.

Alistair launches himself into the tent and before I can hit him with the spoon again, grabs both my arms and pins them behind my head. Surprised, I lie motionless. My captor grins down at me with triumph bright in his eyes.

"Now I get my revenge."

I half close my eyes, dreading that something awful is about to happen. I'm pleasantly surprised however when his revenge is to kiss me thoroughly, taking my breath away. Things just get better from there. I have no doubt that our companions could tell exactly what we are doing in the tent by the noises issuing from it, but I really don't care.


	21. Chapter 21

By mid morning we're back in Redcliffe. The castle looms ahead of us and I begin to mentally prepare for the task ahead of me. Morrigan and Wynne decide to come to the castle with us, as I figure we can use all the mages we can get. I can hear Leliana babbling at Dane with Sten in tow as they head down to the village to get the money we're due from the Blackstone Irregulars representative there.

First Enchanter Irving and the others are waiting in the main hall. I can't help but find the awkward tension between Jowan and the First Enchanter entertaining. Everyone is irritated that it took me so long to get here. Well excuse me for almost dying, while you all got to sit around and enjoy a roof over your heads. A room full of powerful mages and they're all waiting on me to tell them what to do, a bit pathetic if you ask me.

Fine, if they're waiting for me then I'm taking charge. I consider having the First Enchanter go into the fade in my place, but my conscience reminds me that wouldn't be right. Fine. I'll go. Let's just get this over with.

I stand in the center of a circle formed by the other mages, including Jowan. Every one is needed regardless of past errors. Anyone who is not a mage has been banished from the room, which Alistair is not happy about. I reassure him that all will be fine and then have Teagan pull him away.

As soon as I hear the door close I look to Irving who merely nods his head. Nodding back, I sink to the floor and sit cross-legged. I'm still recovering from the wound on my side and I don't want to fall when I come back out of the fade. I draw in a deep breath and close my eyes. The other mages begin to chant, not a chant that anyone can hear, it's a chant of spells that I can feel. A bowl of lyrium is on my left, and I dip the fingers of my left hand into it at the same moment I grasp my staff firmly in my right.

Entering the fade is never easy, this time it feels like running very fast into the wall of a building, smashing into it and then dissolving through it. I know, weird. I open my eyes to see the world that the desire demon has created. Not very original, random bits of Connor's life scattered about and spectral versions of him wandering around. The one unexpected thing is the sound of a grown man yelling, I think it's the Arl.

I investigate and find it is indeed Arl Eamon. I do my best to calm him and he's a smart enough man to understand what I tell him. I can see why Alistair looks up to him. I move quickly and confront the demon multiple times, always calling her bluff. Silly creature, you'd think word of me would have spread through the fade by now. Doesn't she know all of her demon friends that have messed with me have died by my hand?

Have I mentioned how much I love blowing up demons? Especially demons who wear nothing more then a glorified necklace for a top? I think the way her innards splattered like a fountain was rather striking.

As the demon's scream fades, reality slams into my mind, and I can't help but fall forward onto my hands. Thank goodness I had decided not to do this standing. I feel a trickle of blood run down my side and grimace. Damn, I must have reopened the gash on my side. Only Jowan and Irving are still standing, the rest of the mages are sitting down where they can find a seat while looking pale. Irving's wise eyes are regarding me closely as he steps forward and offers a hand to help me up.

"Very well done, child."

"Thank you First Enchanter."

A lot isn't said. I still admire the old man before me, for he was the one who convinced me to study the school of spirit. I was the only apprentice of my age group to try that very difficult school of magic. But I find I no longer crave his approval, I've moved on to bigger things.

"Would you mind sending someone to get Wynne? I think my wound may reopen more if I move any farther and I do not feel like getting chastised for doing that."

Irving chuckles and nods to a younger mage who looks to have recovered well enough to do as I ask. My eyes shift to Jowan who looks lost. Suddenly he looks like the boy I first knew, sad, lost and very alone.

"Jowan..."

The concern in my voice makes him smile wanly.

"Don't worry Lyn, I deserve whatever punishment they give me."

I swallow my grief for him and nod that I understand. He doesn't want any comfort, as it will only make it harder to face his future.

Wynne bustles into the room, pulling supplies from her pouch as she advances towards me.

"Take a seat Vaelyn and open your robe. Everyone out, give the woman some privacy."

Every single mage, including Irving, hurries from the room as if she'd chased them out while brandishing a broom. I really need to learn how she does that without sounding like a bitch, it would be a very handy thing to know. As soon as the last mage leaves and closes the door behind him, I begin to undo the buttons at the collar of my robe. Wynne ends up assisting me as every time I move, I bleed more.

"It is a marvel that you survived this five minutes let alone at all. You never did tell me what did this to you, although I assume it was something in the tower."

"It was an abomination, a hunger abomination to be specific. Uldred, or I should say the thing Uldred turned into, threw me against a wall, that's what did my ribs in. Then the abomination had launched itself at me and immediately began gnawing and shredding at my side like Sten at cookies."

My example makes Wynne chuckle.

"How did you get it off? Those creatures were at least twice your size if not three times."

"I managed to reach my staff and whack it as it took a large bite out of me. I finished it off by impaling it's head with the bottom end of my staff."

"How would that work? Staffs have flat bottoms, not very good for stabbing."

"Well I've modified mine... I sharpened the end till it tapered like a stake. It made a better walking stick with a sharp end. Also good for spearing fish."

Wynne's full belly laugh catches me by surprise, but soon I'm laughing with her. Eventually we calm ourselves and wipe the tears from our eyes. She finishes putting a fresh poultice and bandage on the area that reopened. After we get me buttoned up I show her the modified bottom of my staff and she shakes her head in amazement.

"Generations of mages, and you're the first person to think of making your staff useful for more then it's intended use."

"Oh, don't give me all the credit. I read a book about mages from Tevinter having blades on the bottoms of their staffs. It's what gave me the idea."

I manage to leave the room under my own power, just leaning on my staff like an old woman. A guard is kind enough to tell me that Teagan and the others are waiting for me upstairs. Of course they're upstairs, I'm barely able to stand up, so stairs should be no problem... asses.


	22. Chapter 22

If it's possible, I think I hate Isolde more then Goldanna now. I almost die trying to save her ill-fated family and she barely manages to thank me. She also keeps treating Alistair like he isn't fit to lick her shoes let alone stand in her presence. My interaction with Eamon has been limited, but he didn't seem like an idiot, so why would he marry this tarted up excuse for a woman? Morrigan finds her irritating as well and we started plotting a way to ruin her all too perfect skin. A drop of this, a dab of that in her fancy lotion... We almost got away with it but Wynne caught us sneaking towards the Arlessa's room. I love Wynne, but she can be such a spoil sport.

At least Teagan will be prepping Redcliffe for the blight, that's something. He had no problem thanking me or Alistair... stupid Orlaisian hoe could take a lesson in manners from him. Thanks to her however we have to detour back to Denerim, again, to find some guy named Brother Gena... Geni... whatever his name is. He's probably nutters anyways.

We've stopped to camp outside of Redcliffe and overall our little group is cheerful. Sten is as happy as I've ever seen him, as the smith's daughter heard he liked cookies and baked him a whole bunch as a thank you for helping to save the town. He's reluctantly decided to share his confections with us. We're all sitting around the fire eating cookies, drinking wine (that I swiped from the Arl's cellars) and telling stories. I'm leaning against Alistair and letting the heat from the fire sooth my injury while Dane snores at my feet. Leliana is telling a story and doing a wonderful job of it, even keeping Sten focused on her.

We've decided to go to Orzammar after we look for the scholar in Denerim as that's also where Sten's sword might be. I will, for once, not be the shortest person around. The thought makes me grin.

The next night Alistair stops me on my way back to camp from picking herbs for Wynne.

"Here, look at this. Do you know what this is?"

He's holding a rose. I'm a bit confused, does he think we didn't have flowers in the mage tower?

"Is that a trick question?"

"Yes, absolutely. I'm trying to trick you. Is it working? Aw, I just about had you, didn't I?"

His silly grin is making me smile back at him. I decide to play along.

"Oh, yes. You're wily."

"Nefarious, even."

His laughter is warm and I end up chuckling with him for a moment. Alistair stops laughing and then regards the sad little flower in his hand.

"I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would just come and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since."

"What do you intend to do with it?"

"I thought that I might... give it to you, actually. In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you."

I'm blushing again. I do my best not to stutter.

"Thank you, Alistair. That's a lovely thought."

"I'm glad you like it. I was just thinking... here I am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experiences of being a Grey Warden since your joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy."

He hands me the rose and I take it before stepping close and wrapping my arms around his neck. His strong arms wrap tightly around me before he looks down at me and continues speaking.

"I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this... darkness."

"I feel the same way about you, love."

I show him exactly how I feel by standing on my tiptoes and giving him a kiss powered by all the feelings I have for him.


	23. Chapter 23

Well, Loghain's taking us seriously, at least seriously enough to hire an assassin to kill Alistair and I. We now have the assassin as part of our band of misfits. It took some convincing, but now everyone else seems to like him as much as I do. It's also nice not to be the only elf any more. Zevran's frank honesty about how he was hired and his situation with the Crows stopped me from killing him. I also think having an assassin on our side is just good for business.

We've gotten a lot of business done in Denerim. I brought some drake scales that I had picked up to that armorer, Wade, and he's turned them into a set of armor for me. Much sturdier and more useful then the blighted robes! We also took care of Leliana's little "problem" while in the city, she won't be hearing from that bitch anymore. Oh and it appears that the Crows and I have some common causes. I'm not going to turn down any chance at getting additional allies or coin. We need as much of both as we can get.

This Brother Genitivi must actually be on to something for someone to have gone to all the trouble to kill his assistant and leave someone to pose as him to send people on the wrong trail. We now need to stop by The Spoiled Princess to see if we can get a lead as to where this place called "Haven" is.


	24. Chapter 24

Found a lead as to the location of "Haven", bunch of creepy fellows were waiting to ambush us outside The Spoiled Princess for asking about the urn and Brother Genitivi. You'd think people would know better then to try to attack me and my merry little band of friends. We may get injured now and then, but there's always at least four of us in good enough shape to kill those who need killing. Especially now that we have a golem with us.

Yes, that's right, a golem. We found Shale in a village attacked by the darkspawn. She (I think she's a she anyways, hard to tell you know) has a low opinion of us squishy people and a hatred for all birds. She's already murdered a dozen chickens and twice as many crows and pigeons. I suppose I'd hate birds too if I'd been stuck as a living statue while they pooped on me for years.

The trip to the Frostback Mountains is long and cold. The wound on my side is just a scar now, thanks to Wynne's amazing healing skills. She's taught me some healing spells, but I'm awful at them. We've grown much closer, and after getting her to apologize for insinuating that Alistair and I should brake up she even told me about being saved by a spirit.

In fact, I've grown a lot closer to all my companions. Morrigan considers me a friend, and even possibly a sister. I almost feel guilty about that. She asked me to kill Flemeth, as Flemeth was planning on taking over her body... I couldn't do it. Flemeth saved my life, and Alistair's for that matter. If we... When we stop this blight it will be thanks to her. I also have a feeling that no matter what I did, and if it even seemed that I killed her, that Flemeth would live on. The thought that she might be an Old God has flitted around my head, but no matter what, she is a force not to be mettled with. However, the reason I don't feel completely guilty about withholding the truth from Morrigan is I don't think she's been telling me the whole truth either. We both know that not everything is out in the open, and that works for us. Alistair has no problem lying to her, as they still don't like each other.

It's been either raining or snowing every night. We've taken to huddling underneath Morrigan's shelter for our meals, chatting and sharing stories. Sometimes we play games or divide into little groups to chat. I never thought I'd have girl talk with Leliana, Morrigan, and Wynne. What an odd group of women we make. We do talk about the boys, but we also enjoy talking about silly things. Morrigan has finally learned how to speak to others without sounding high and mighty all the time.

No one other then Wynne has commented about my relationship with my fellow Grey Warden to my face. I have noticed Alistair hasn't been as lucky. I feel bad for him, but I also find it entertaining when he gets quizzed by Zevran. And when Zev starts offering to give him tips and hints... Oh, Maker! It's all I can do not to laugh out loud!

Speaking of Zevran, he's started showing me some of his duelist moves that he learned from Isabella. I'm interested, as I have learned to keep a set of daggers on my person as back up weapons at all time. When I was in the repository with Jowan, I happened to borrow an interesting tome. It has details on becoming an Arcane Warrior. Which is a mage who specializes in using magic while fighting with weapons other then a staff. I've been practicing when it's my turn on guard duty for the night.


	25. Chapter 25

Well Orzammar is immense. The evil part of my brain keeps muttering something about how they must be compensating for something... Bad mind! Bad! Seriously though, it's an amazing place. I keep feeling like the ceiling might fall on me at any moment though, makes me a bit twitchy.

And, of course, we've come at a time of unrest for the dwarven people. It even looks as if I'll have to step in and help one of the two candidates for king if I want to get my army before the blight destroys all of Ferelden. I have to say, after one day here I've had more then my share of dwarven politics. There is more backstabbing here then in the female apprentice dormitory at the tower, and that's really saying something. Murder, betrayal, blackmail, bribery, and outright lies. It's a wonder they haven't all killed themselves by now.

I'm having a hard time picking who to back as king. I tried asking my companions but they all made excuses and never actually said anything of worth. Alistair was no better, kept giving me the "You're in charge" excuse. Cowards, all of them.

Both Behlen and Harrowmont are doing shady things... I like Harrowmont, but he doesn't seem to be very strong and a weak king is worse then no king. Behlen is a conniving bastard who's murdered his way up, but wants to do something to help the casteless. I can't help but feel that I have to pick between the lessor of two evils... not an easy decision. And it's a decision I'm not ready to make, so I've started wandering around and talking to random people.

I've met a delightful young dwarven woman named Dagna. She wishes to study at the tower despite not being able to work magic herself. I've promised to ask the First Enchanter if she can when I'm at the tower next time. Her enthusiasm is heartwarming and I've decided to do whatever I can to convince him to let her come. After all she's willing to give up her whole family and way of life in order to pursue this.

I'm picking up every bit of information about the dwarves as I can. I already knew quite a bit from all the studying I've done in the past, so I wasn't completely ignorant when we arrived. My curiosity is what has been leading us all over the city, I think the others are starting to get annoyed that I'm not actually doing anything productive. Morrigan's starting to snap at Alistair and I keep having to stop Zevran from snitching things from the shop keepers. I need something to distract them...

"Look! A tavern, let's get a drink and see what we can learn from the gossip."

"What is that smell? Dwarven vomit? Charming."

"Shut up Alistair."

He starts to look hurt but I stick out my tongue at him, not very Grey Warden-ish, I know. Alistair tries to look hurt, but the twinkle in his eye gives him away.

We walk in and the first thing I notice is the drunken dwarven singing. I. Love. It. Leliana seems to agree, as she keeps calling the drunks on the stage "adorable". We find a table in the back big enough for the nine of us to fit around. A waitress asks what we want to drink and I ask my companions, no one seems to have an opinion except for Alistair.

"I tried dwarven ale once. I thought it was just something they tricked surfacers into drinking, as a joke."

"Alright, mead it is then. A round for the table please."

After enjoying some of the mead once it arrived I start to study the people scattered around the tavern. It's an interesting mix of nobles and those from the castes. My hunch that we'd be able to learn something about the two candidates for king was a good one. It's almost the only thing being talked about. Most of what I'm hearing seems to agree with my first impressions.

I'm thoroughly enjoying drinking with my friends. Wynne has been enjoying sampling anything they'll serve her. She's let her hair down, literally and figuratively, and she's become quite popular with some of the regulars here. Sten is sitting on the floor next to Dane as he isn't able to really fit into the booth we're occupying. I'm sitting between Alistair and Morrigan with Zev and Leliana in the booth with us. I've had just enough mead to find this all very fun, and not feel quite so much of the pressure that usually rests on my shoulders.

The waitress brings us another round. Inspiration seizes me and I toss some coins at her.

"A round for the house, please!"

I wait till the round has been served and then climb up on the table, mug raised above my head. Every pair of eyes in the tavern are fixed on me, waiting.

"To the Grey Wardens! To the dwarven people and their ancestors! Death to the darkspawn!"

A resounding cheer follows my toast, and I down my entire mug of mead in one go, which is rewarded with a second cheer. Alistair and the others are laughing as they help me back down into my seat. I snuggle against Alistair and cradle my now empty mug in my hands.

"Whatever possessed you to do that, love?"

"Oh, just a whim. I thought that having a large group of dwarves having fond memories of us may end up working in our advantage at some point."


	26. Chapter 26

Dwarven politics are a sodding pain in my ass. I've decided to back Bhelen, despite a large dislike for the man. He's got me running errands with phony documents and other stupid tasks. The only reason I'm doing anything for the slimy bastard is so I can get my stinking army and be gone from this place. The rumors about him all seem to have a grain of truth in them, and I don't have any trouble believing that he killed his older siblings in order to put himself in line for the throne. The man makes Loghain look warm and fuzzy.

The way the dwarves treat the casteless is despicable. They'd all be better off on the surface. I've given what coin I can spare to the worst off, and hope that Bhelen will keep his promise to help them. No wonder so many of the them turn to Jarvia and her carta for work, it's a shame.

I have a feeling that I'll have to go find the paragon called Branka eventually, but I won't object as the deep roads and the darkspawn are simple matters compared to all the drama here in Orzammar. Just the thought of killing droves of darkspawn sends a thrill of pleasure up my spine. Simple straightforward battle sounds wonderful. I don't even smell the darkspawn blood anymore, I've become so used to it.

Well, I was right. We were sent to find Branka. I'm beginning to think of this as a quest not to stop the blight... It's more like a quest to kill crazy bitches. Branka just might be the craziest one yet, sacrificing her whole house for that damn anvil. I feel bad for Oghren, our newest companion and now Branka's widower. I have developed a deep fondness for the drunk, and we've become friends very quickly.

Our trip in the deep roads can be summed up thusly: Moldy tunnels, deepstalker shit, kill darkspawn, kill more darkspawn, kill sodding giant spiders, fight angry spirits, kill a broodmother (who was all boobs and tentacles), kill golems, navigate ancient traps, fight Branka, talk to Caradin and then watch him kill himself after forging a crown for me to crown the new dwarven king. Upside is Shale got to find out more about herself and we managed to pick up some decent loot.

We returned to Orzammar and crowned Bhelen and then hightailed it out of there and headed back to the circle for a quick hello. I'm in desperate need of coin, and I happened to meet a man in Dust Town who needed some lyrium delivered to the tower. I already had to go ask the First Enchanter if he'd accept the young dwarven woman, Dagna, for study. So I figure why the hell not?

I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty miserable of late. I'm sleep deprived and feeling very jaded. The whole situation in Orzammar drained me, as I have very little tolerance for politics. Everyone wants a favor from me, and what I get in return isn't worth all the work I did. Sure I'm getting armies, but at what cost? I feel like I've aged ten years in the last few months.

Alistair, Sten, Oghren, Dane and I should reach the circle tower by tonight. I left the majority of my companions back at Orzammar. Wynne was pretty badly injured when we fought the broodmother, so I left her and Morrigan crafting potions as we've been running low and she needs time to recover.

"Darkspawn ahead."

Alistair's whisper brings me to the present, and my hands instantly go for my staff. Now that I'm paying attention I can feel the dark whispers at the edge of my mind. We round the bend to find maybe twenty darkspawn plus an Ogre. Sodding wonderful. Battle cries issue forth from my boys and they charge, taking advantage of the element of surprise. I focus on the Ogre and throw a great deal of willpower into a walking bomb spell. I quickly follow up with my crushing prison, but it's not holding the thing still, just slowing the it down instead. It's come up behind Sten, who is surrounded by hurlocks. I need to distract the ogre, and throw a stonefist at it's head. The spell hits the creature right in the side of it's face, and it then turns it's beady eyes to me and roars before charging.

"Nug shit!"

Sure my distraction was successful but now I'm the ogre's target and need to avoid being snatched up and eaten. I hightail it and run around the battlefield, throwing spells over my shoulder as the ogre pounds after me. I can hear the corrosive poison of the walking bomb eating away at it's insides but it still hasn't exploded yet so I keep running. I feel ridiculous but feeling stupid is better then getting killed. That's when laughter rings across the clearing, Alistair's laughter. Confused I glance at him and find that my running from the ticking time bomb of an ogre seems to amuse him. I glare at him and he laughs all the harder as he slices a genlock's arm off.

Finally, with a roar of anguish the ogre explodes, taking out five other darkspawn in the blast. I help the others finish off the remaining stragglers and then begin checking the bodies for any extra coin. I make a point of ignoring Alistair, not even looking in his direction.

"Why's the boss lady giving you the cold shoulder lover boy?"

This is why I love Oghren, he's never afraid to ask the awkward questions. I don't have to look, I know Alistair has a slight blush on his face.

"Because, dwarf, I laughed at her."

"Why would you sodding do that?"

"She was being chased by an ogre. It was funny."

"How is that funny? If my woman was being chased by an ogre I wouldn't sodding laugh at her, I'd stick an axe in the monster's head."

Alistair starts to answer but can't seem to find anything to say that won't make him sound like an even bigger ass. Eventually he lets out a big sigh and walks away muttering under his breath. I wait till he's over by Sten before looking over at Oghren. The dwarf winks at me and chuckles before talking a swig from his flask. I flash him a grateful smile and then return my expression to icy before joining the others and heading back out on the road.

Alistair is silent for a good couple of hours, staying behind me and Dane. I can feel his gaze on my back the whole time, but decide I really don't feel like letting him off the hook on this one. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little bit petty, but I don't like being laughed at, especially when all I was doing was trying to not get eaten.

We reach the edge of the lake before dark, having made good time. After crossing the lake and taking care of business in the tower I had decided to take the First Enchanter up on his offer of feeding and lodging for the night. He's been kind enough to give us two guest rooms and I've claimed the one with a window looking out over the lake. I watch as the sun sets over the water, hands resting on the windowsill. Footsteps ring on the stone floor, approaching me. I know Alistair's walk very well and don't bother to turn around. He stops once he's next to me and lets out a soft sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed at you."

Keeping my face cold I turn and look at him, raising a single eyebrow as if to say "that all?"

Alistair goes beet red and looks at his feet intently.

"It's just... Here I was, hacking away at the darkspawn and I look up to see you hopping and running around like a lost chicken. It seemed funny!"

"I don't find trying to survive all that funny. You and the others charged into the fray and I got left to fend off an ogre on my own. In case you hadn't noticed, a staff isn't all that good for fighting off an ogre. Spells take time to work on a creature that size."

"You're right. I'll say it again, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have laughed. I mean, yes it was funny in a dark way but I should have remembered that you left your sense of humor in the deep roads."

"Why you little bastard!"

"I already know I'm a bastard, just stating the obvious there. As for the little part, well... I'm taller then you and even Dane would be taller then you if he stood up on his hind legs. You're lucky people don't mistake you for a dwarf. "

I didn't realize my jaw had been hanging open until my mouth shut with a loud snap. I can feel my face going red with indignation, heat spreading from my chest upwards. My fingers are twitching with the urge to slap his stupid face. I hate being short, he knows that. That was a very low blow.

"You! You sodding, no good, failed templar, pain in my ass!"

"That the best you can do?"

I let out a roar of frustration and turn away from him. Before I can step away however, Alistair wraps his arms around me and pulls me back against his chest. I resist at first but then can't help but melt just a tiny bit as it always feels so good to lean against him.

"You're awfully pretty when you roar little dragoness."

His sultry whisper tickles my ear and makes me shiver.

"Were you making me mad on purpose just now?"

"Yes, I really did mean my apology, but when you stayed all icy I couldn't help myself. I know every thing has been getting to you lately and figured you needed to let some of that anger out."

Maker, he knows me so well. I turn around in his arms and wrap mine around him and lay my head on his chest, enjoying the reassuring thump of his heartbeat. We stand there like that for awhile, his chin resting on the top of my head and our arms wrapped around each other. I do my best to memorize everything about this moment, knowing that our future is so uncertain.

"Thank you."

"Anything for you, love."


	27. Chapter 27

I shouldn't be surprised, our plans have changed again. We were almost back to Orzammar when we ran into a merchant who knew where Haven is. Alistair and I agreed that this takes priority and turned around and headed straight there without getting the others.

Haven is not a nice place. Up high in the mountains, and cut off from the rest of Ferelden. We've just been given a not so nice greeting from the guard on the road. The village is almost deserted. We start to climb up towards where the village store is supposed to be when Sten steps in front of me.

"Interesting strategy. Tell me: Do you intend to keep going north until it becomes south, and attack the archdemon from the rear?"

"This is necessary."

"Is it? I see. I was mistaken, then. It seemed to me that we were climbing a mountain in the middle of nowhere on some frivolous whim of yours."

Sarcasm doesn't become Sten.

"Arl Eamon is ill. That is why we are here."

"How will this help him?"

"The Ashes can heal him."

"I have no doubt of your faith. I am beginning to doubt your sanity, however. The archdemon is our goal. And we are heading away from it. To find the charred remnants of a dead woman. You haven't thought this through."

"Don't worry, I have a plan."

Sten regards me closely for a moment, and I cross my arms across my chest and meet his gaze.

"It is, however, a wise plan? I trust you with my life. But this is not my life at stake. It is our goal."

"I haven't forgotten what's at stake. Ferelden is my home."

"Be careful, kadan. I have spoken my mind. Let us waste no more time here."

I give the giant a curt nod before turning on my heel and continuing up the mountain.

Sten argues no more as we discover just how wrong things are in Haven. Human sacrifice, murdering the Redcliffe knights and torturing Brother Genitivi. At least the Brother is alive, and he insists that the ashes are here, somewhere.

I am sorely tempted to leave the Brother here and continue on without him, but I let him lead us up to the temple at the top of the mountain. After using the pendant I looted from the Revered Father's body as a key, the Brother leads us upward into the temple. Maker! The place is huge and full of snow and ice. We leave the Brother behind with Dane to guard him and begin exploring.

"I'm cold. And it's indoors. This is so wrong."

Oghren's complaint makes me chuckle and sufficiently lightens the mood of our little group as we press onwards.

I've never been a devout Andrastian, so I almost feel a bit guilty as we get further in. When we had to learn the chant of light at the tower I had a tendency to drift off and dream of ways to kill things. Alistair keeps pointing out who the statues represent and adding bits of insight, making my lack of knowledge more apparent.

I'm becoming very grateful to Wade. My drakescale armor has been really coming in handy as it seems the whole temple is teaming with dragonlings. If my hair wasn't crammed up under my cowl I think it would have been completely burned off by now. I am however fairly sure that I no longer have eyebrows as Alistair keeps averting his eyes and giggling whenever I look at him.

Oh look, more caverns to comb through... lovely.

"Are we there yet?"

Sten's frustrated sigh catches me by surprise and I turn and give him an incredulous look.

"Obviously not."

Sten sighs again and continues up the tunnel ahead of me. I hear funny noises behind me and look over my shoulder to find Alistair and Oghren giggling. I roll my eyes and shake my head at them. Silly men, they're all just little boys that like to play with pointy objects.


	28. Chapter 28

Well, we did it. A pouch of Andraste's ashes is tucked away under my armor, where it will stay safe till we make it back to Redcliffe. The Gauntlet and it's Guardian were a unique and enlightening experience. Still gives me chills to think about it. Oghren's been quiet since we left and I've sent him ahead with Sten to make sure that Brother Genitivi is okay.

Alistair's waiting patiently for me to catch up leaning against the stone wall with a look of curiosity on his face. I know he's wondering why I made him stay back. My back is hurting, as I happened to find myself a sword on one of cultist mages. It's an interesting weapon and won't let anyone other then me wield it, rewarding those who try with a nasty shock when they try to grasp it. The thing seems to call to my magic, and I think it's peculiarities has to do with it perhaps being made to be used by an arcane warrior. I'll study it closer when we have a moment at camp. It's now strapped to my back with my staff, and it's added weight is taking some getting used to.

"What's on your mind, love?"

Alistair's simple question makes me smile at him as I turn to lean on the wall next to him.

"I wanted to ask your opinion about what we should do about the urn."

His expression goes from it's usual lighthearted look to one of deep thought, I give him a moment to think before speaking more.

"We have two things to deal with. The first is the dragon. The cultists will return if we leave her alive, since they believe she is Andraste. I don't want them killing any more people in an attempt to "protect" her. However if we manage to successfully kill her, then there will be nothing stopping people from approaching the Gauntlet."

My mind had been worrying this problem since we found the urn, and had given me a headache. I pull a drakescale gauntlet from one of my hands and massage a throbbing temple with my knuckles.

"Secondly, is what we should tell the Brother? You know the chantry a bit better then I do, but I have the feeling that letting them get their hands on the ashes would not end well. I know if Morrigan was here she would consul us to kill the Brother and thus stop him from reporting to the chantry..."

Alistair's eyes light up with irritation at the mention of Morrigan and he begins to glare at me and speak but I raise my free hand to silence him.

"Let me finish. I was about to say that I wouldn't kill the Brother, as he's merely blinded by his faith and wouldn't knowingly cause harm. But harm is what he'll cause if he can get a large group of people to ashes."

Alistair visibly calms at my words, and his voice is without anger when he speaks.

"I agree that the chantry may not... Maker, I don't know what they would do, but my instincts tell me that it would not end well, as you said. As for the dragon, as much as I hate to leave it to terrorize people, she may be a great deterrent to those who seek the urn."

"So we're of the same mind then? I will tell the Brother that we found the urn and that there were tests but not give details. The things that happened there were personal and I have no wish to share what happened with anyone outside our little group. And we'll leave the dragon to guard her... namesake."

I finish the sentence with laughter in my eyes, and Alistair chuckles at my little joke. The warmth in his brown eyes makes me feel a bit better and I smile at him. I take a moment to pull my gauntlet back on and then follow Alistair back into the ruined temple.

We find Brother Genitivi grilling Sten and Oghren about the urn. Both of the warriors are tight lipped and angry looking, but the Brother doesn't seem to notice in his frantic excitement. It's all I can do not to groan out loud with irritation as he spies me and Alistair and runs over chattering nonstop at us.

He's not terribly happy that I won't tell him anything in detail, and he got mad when I told him that I don't think he should tell anyone about the urn. Started ranting about it being people's rights to see it. I enjoyed Alistair's quip about hoping it's a self replenishing urn, but it went right over the Brother's head. I ended the conversation by telling the Brother that if anything bad happens to the urn it's on his head. Silly ignorant man still didn't get it. I'm very glad we left the dragon alive now.


	29. Chapter 29

Our trip back to Redcliffe was grueling, as we never stopped to sleep. We were lucky enough not to run into any large darkspawn bands or any of Loghain's patrols. The ashes worked better then any of us could have hoped. Not only has the Arl returned to us with his mind intact but he's healthy and seems to be without any physical scars from the poison.

The most grueling part was helping Teagan tell Eamon everything that happened. He remembered meeting me in the fade, so it has taken very little convincing to make him believe we're telling the truth. Isolde tried to cut Alistair out of the talking again, and I came damn close to slapping her, but Alistair's hand on my shoulder stopped me. I hope the Arl rants at her at some point, the woman is decidedly stupid.

We've been given rooms for the night, and I'm looking forward to a nice soft bed. It's all I can do not to fall asleep in the hall, after checking on Oghren and Sten. Oghren is drinking himself into oblivion again, and for once Sten is joining him. The Guardian's questions and insight left lasting impressions on us all.

Eamon wants to discuss our situation in the morning, as he needs some time to absorb everything that's happened. Loghain's betrayal seems to have hit him very hard indeed, as they knew each other well. I know how he feels.

A bright fire greets me in my room, Dane curled up on the rug in front of it and so deep in sleep that his ears don't even twitch when I enter. What I see next sends a thrill of excitement through me. A large tub full of steaming water and a large cake of soap resting on a pile of towels. Gleefully I unlace, unstrap and finally remove my armor and small clothes. My hands reach up to unfasten my bun as I kick off my stockings before sinking into the tub. This is one of the upsides of being an elf! The tub would be a bit small for a human of average height, but my smaller size makes it so I can completely submerge myself with ease, my toes just barely reaching the end of the tub. Oh, Maker! The warm water feels exquisite on my tired muscles.

I rest for a moment, but stop myself from falling asleep completely. Eventually I wash and even manage to wash my hair. Having clean hair is a downright luxury these days, and I smile at that thought as I step out and towel myself off. A timid knock at the door snaps me out of my relaxed state. I quickly grasp one of my daggers and hide it in a fold of the towel before answering the door. Dane has cracked open an eyelid but hasn't bothered to move.

"Come in."

With a creak the door slides open and no one appears quickly, I start to prepare for an attack but then a pair of large and frightened eyes peek around the corner belonging to what I'm guessing is a chambermaid. Her voice is barely over a terrified whisper.

"Excuse me, my lady. I came to retrieve any clothing you may want washed and dried for the morning and to inquire if you are done with your bath."

I relax a bit, realizing my body posture must be frightening the girl.

"Yes, I am done with the bath, thank you. Once you've removed that I'll leave the clothing I'll need washed outside the door."

Bobbing her head in understanding first, I watch as she seems to gesture behind her at someone. Then she and another maid dart into the room and grab the tub and leave. I close the door behind them and take a deep breath. It only takes me a few moments to change into my very worn and very patched night shift and then put my pile of dirty laundry outside the door. I'm a bit dismayed to find that there is no way to lock the door, as the lock has been broken. That is partly my fault as I had used any means possible to break into every room to rid the castle of all the monsters while Connor was possessed. I'm sure the castle's locksmith is going to be very busy for a good while.

I throw a few logs on the fire before climbing into the bed, which seems huge compared to the little tent I'm used to. I put my dagger under the pillow and my sword just under the edge of the bed before getting comfortable under the sheets. The distant sound of drunken dwarven singing lulls me into a deep sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

I'm awake, something has woken me from my slumber. My instinct is to leap from the bed with a weapon in my hand, but I know better. Instead I continue to lay still and make myself keep breathing deeply. The fire has lowered a bit, and the room is darker because of it. Unfortunately I had rolled over in my sleep and now my back is to the door. My ears strain to pick up any noise and are rewarded with the sound of the door closing softly, which means it was the sound of it opening that awakened me.

Adrenaline pounds through my veins as the sound of soft footsteps come closer. The fingers of my left hand curl and tighten around the handle of the dagger under my pillow and I prepare myself to attack.

"Lyn, it's just me."

Relief pounds through me at the sound of Alistair's voice. I keep my hand on my dagger as I slowly sit up enough to confirm that it's him. Brown eyes note the weapon in my hand and spark with amusement. I swallow and then take a big breath before replacing the dagger under the pillow. I sit up fully and regard Alistair with some concern.

"Everything okay?"

Alistair's face is giving me mixed signals, he seems worried about something. He's standing next to the bed, hands fidgeting with the hem of his linen shirt. I pat the bed next to me and Alistair doesn't hesitate to slip under the sheets and move next to me. I slide down till he can snuggle up to my side. He's upset about something and I wrap my arms around him, letting him rest his head on my chest. All is quiet for a few moments, I decide to be patient as he'll speak once he feels like it.

"I overheard Teagan and Eamon talking..."

I can feel him frowning and give him a reassuring hug.

"They were talking about putting me forward as king. I... I just don't know what to think about that. I have never wanted to be king, and I don't think I'd make a good king anyways."

I take a moment to absorb his words. I'd been wondering about who would rule if we managed to remove Loghain. I'd instantly ruled out Anora, as she cannot be much of a ruler as she let her father take control and has done nothing. I hate weak women.

"I'm sorry, love. You do realize it might be our only option? I doubt you want Loghain to remain in power, and we both know Anora is no better. If Eamon was to try to be king, like you originally suggested when we were at Lothering, it would make him look no better then Loghain. You're Maric's son, regardless of who your mother was or how you were raised."

Alistair lets out an agonized groan, he may play dumb but I know he's actually quite smart under all that blond hair.

"Yes, I do realize. I was just hoping you wouldn't throw it in my face. Maker! I was perfectly happy just being an ordinary grey warden."

Even though he's not looking at me I'm sure he can feel the look I'm giving him.

"Sorry, you didn't throw anything in my face. Bad choice of words."

"I'd say. I refuse to lie to you, Alistair. As for being ordinary... No warden is ordinary for starters, and regardless you've always been something more then ordinary. You're special Alistair, and I'm not just saying that because I love you."

"Special, heh? Special in the head, maybe..."

"Oh that's quite enough, now you're just being a baby."

"I am not!"

Indignation colors his words and I manage not to chuckle at his little temper tantrum.

"Yes you are. Oh boo hoo, you might have to be king, poor you. Being thrust into a difficult job, who could ever understand what that feels like? You'll do what you have to, provided we even survive long enough to make it to that point."

My words aren't kind, but coddling him won't help. I have a great deal of faith in my templar, and I know he'll do the right thing in the end. Even though he'll probably whine and complain all the way, like most men do.

"Point taken, Lyn."

He doesn't actually say it, but I know he's sorry and kiss the top of his head. His hair smells like lavender, I must not have been the only one to take a bath.

"That's more like it. Now then, you woke me up from a decidedly good dream. I believe you owe me for that..."

A sultry chuckle from is his answer. I giggle back and pull the sheets over our heads. I'm planning on enjoying this bed while we have it.


	31. Chapter 31

We're on our way to seek out the Dalish (after meeting back up with the others at Orzammar) to redeem the last of the treaties. The meeting with Eamon and Teagan in the morning had been brief and to the point. I agreed with Eamon that Alistair will be our best bet for king. Eamon's also going to ready his men for war and begin getting the other nobles on our side for a Landsmeet to deal with Loghain.

Eamon had the guards bring Jowan to him for judgment. I did what I could, saying that I believed in Jowan's wish to repent and that Eamon should let the circle deal with him. Jowan thanked me, and then he was lead away. The deep sadness in his eyes was haunting. I know that the templars will want him executed, and I doubt the First Enchanter will object strongly. I am horribly saddened by this. I know Jowan brought this on himself, and I don't blame myself for not stopping him before he did what he did, but part of me still wishes for things to be different.

I'm tempted to cry, even though I know it would serve no purpose. All the loss I've suffered from over the years is threatening to overwhelm me. I miss my parents, I miss the old Jowan, I miss Beth and the other mages even. I miss Duncan and the other wardens. I feel so very alone.

"You're not sodding supposed to do that."

Oghren's voice makes me frown, and I turn to look down at him.

"Supposed to do what?"

"Get all emotional. You're the boss, supposed to set a sodding example aren't you?"

I snort and look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I can get emotional if I damn well please."

Oghren snorts right back at me.

"Look, dwarf. If you've got something to say, then say it!"

"Dwelling on the past and thinking about the what could have beens will get you nowhere. I should sodding know."

He's right, but that doesn't stop be from being annoyed at him for saying it out loud so I can't ignore it. I decide to be petty and just call him a name instead of being an adult and acknowledging that he spoke the truth.

"Idiot."

"Bronto."

"Drunken ass."

"Icy bitch."

"Nug humper!"

"Knife eared harpy!"

"Your mother was a nug and your father smelt of bronto piss!"

"Tarted up demon bait!"

Our name calling continues like this for a good ten minutes, and has drawn the attention of the others. None of them step in and break it up, for differing reasons (Alistair looks amused, Sten doesn't seem to care and Leliana has turned bright red in mortification). Eventually Oghren starts to run out of things to call me and is seems to get a bit desperate with his taunts.

"OOOoohhh! Look at me! I'm an elf! Trees are pretty! Tra-la-la-la-la!"

He's got his hands on his ears and is pulling them into points. I can't take it, he looks so ridiculous that I start laughing hysterically. Oh Maker, I'm laughing so hard that there's tears streaming from my eyes. Now Oghren's laughing too, bending over and bracing himself on his knees. After a few minutes we're down to just giggling occasionally and trying to catch our breath. I wipe the tears from my eyes and step over towards Oghren, who is finally standing completely upright.

"Peace?"

"Aye, boss lady."

We shake hands and then go back to walking like nothing happened. Ignoring the looks from the rest of the party. When everyone hesitates to get moving I bark out an order to head out and don't bother to look behind me to see if they listened.


	32. Chapter 32

I'm well and truly mortified.

It all started after dinner. Leliana was quizzing me about the urn, as she has been doing every night since she and the others were told that we found it. One minute we're talking about Andraste and then BOOM! She says she loves me? Andraste's flaming ass! Where did that come from? Even though I can pretend for a moment, I really don't think she means that she loves me in a sisterly way... Movement behind me. OH SODDING FADE! Alistair heard her confess her love for me. I'm panicking. Maker just smite me now, please?

"Look Leliana, I don't know... what I mean is. I consider you a friend... um, that's it."

I can't bring myself to stay here another second longer, I flee like a complete coward and run to my tent. Alistair's waiting for me, looking confused and sad. Hello, Maker? About that smiting? Why hasn't a lightning bolt shot down and killed me yet?

"So you and Leliana, is it serious?"

I have the distinct impression that I must look like a fish out of water, I cannot seem to catch my breath and my mouth is hanging open, gulping at the air.

"No Alistair! She's just a friend!"

"Really? It's just I couldn't help but overhear just now... and, well … I want whatever makes you happiest."

He's doing his best to be brave but he's genuinely concerned that I'll leave him for that red headed crazy woman. His brown eyes look wounded.

"Look, I don't know where that came from! I swear! I thought we were friends, that's it. You're the only one I'm interested in..."

Fear of losing him is making it hard to speak. If Alistair dumps me because that crazy woman took acts of friendship as flirtation, I'll... I'll kill her.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! I love you Alistair, you're the only one I've ever loved..."

I pour every ounce of my emotions into those words, and it seems to reassure him. He gives me a quick kiss and then walks away, as it is his turn to stand guard tonight. The prospect of sleeping alone in my tent when there is an Orlaisian bard with romantic feelings for me on the loose is terrifying.

So that's why I'm in a tree, hiding from Leliana at the moment, trying to figure out how the hell that all happened, and hiding from the others in camp. I had the presence of mind to grab my blanket, and I have it wrapped around my shoulders, with my sword on my lap.

I'm so confused. I mean there was that one time she told me she liked my hair, but that had to do with that silly story about the bird hat, right? Right? And then there's the matter of Alistair, how could she think I'm interested in her when I've been sharing a tent with him? Does she think I'm that kind of girl? Maker! I've never been interested in other women. I like men, a lot. I have never had a problem drooling over an attractive guy. What could I have done to make her think I was interested? Regardless, I would never cheat on Alistair... or anyone I was involved with for that matter.

A cold and bitter wind cuts through the air, chilling me. I'd be much more comfortable by the fire, with my cloak wrapped around me. But she's back there... Nope, I'm good here till morning. It takes a bit of shifting, but eventually I manage to get a bit comfortable, my back against the trunk and my legs spread out in front of me. I've slipped my sword part way into one boot so it won't fall and now have my arms folded across my chest and clutching the edges of the blanket.

My eyes look through the leaves to the mostly cloudy sky above me, occasionally catching a glimpse of a star. The sound of the wind, and the rustling leaves eventually lull me into a peaceful sleep.

Morning dawns and it takes me a moment to remember why I'm in a tree. At least I didn't fall out, that's something good, right? All my muscles are stiff and the scar on my side twinges as I climb down after making sure there's no-one and nothing waiting for me below. I approach the camp with what I hope is a relaxed demeanor. I avoid eye contact with anyone and make quick work of packing up my unused bedroll and tent.

An awkward tension is between Alistair and I as we march towards the Brecilian Forest. I haven't even looked in Leliana's direction, I don't want to know what she's doing.

I'm beyond grateful when we finally encounter some Dalish, as the distraction from my personal problems is very welcome. Mithra, the leader of the Dalish patrol is going to take us to her keeper, Zathrian.

The Dalish camp is full of wounded hunters and Zathrian tells me it's all because of some wolf called Witherfang. I ask him a great deal of questions but mostly get deflection and cold looks in return. I do not trust a man who asks for favors but gives me no real truth to start with. I'll investigate the forest, and see what I can find for myself. He's angry that I won't promise to kill Witherfang, but I don't give a damn. I refuse to promise to kill something without knowing more about it.

After we've walked out of hearing range from Zathrian and his second, I motion for Wynne to come talk with me.

"Wynne, I want you to stay here with Morrigan and the others and try to see what you can do for the wounded while I go into the forest and see what is really going on."

"You doubt the Keeper's words?"

"Not exactly, I feel he's leaving things out. Things I should know before I promise to kill a creature I have never seen or heard of before."

Wynne nods and then steps away. I take a moment to check my pack and then head for the path into the woods.

"Alistair, Oghren and Sten you're with me. Dane! Come boy! You scout ahead."

My warriors fall in behind me quickly and we make our way into the forest. I know I should talk to Leliana, but I'm feeling cowardly and really don't want to do it. Maybe if I'm lucky a werewolf will eat me before I have to see her again!


	33. Chapter 33

We've been hiking for a good while now, having made some decent progress. Sten is up ahead with Dane and Oghren's dropped back a ways to drink from his "secret" flask. Alistair still hasn't really talked to me and I'm sick of the silence.

"Look, Alistair. Do you want to talk?"

"About what?"

"You know what."

He lets out a big sigh and stares intently at his feet.

"Fine."

My palms are sweaty, I hate feeling like this.

"I wasn't lying last night. I had no idea she had those kind of feelings for me. One minute we were talking about the urn, again, and then she dropped that bomb on me. I told you when we first met her that I thought she was a few archdemons short of a blight, didn't I?"

Alistair still doesn't meet my gaze, and I feel very small and alone. I'm considering killing Leliana as soon as possible, she's turned my already screwed up life upside down. If her stupid confession costs me Alistair then I give up! The blight can have Ferelden and I'll just go curl up and die somewhere...

"Look, I know you're not lying. You're always honest Lyn, that's one of your qualities I've always loved. It's just... even though I know the truth, a small part of me feels hurt. Like you had something with her behind my back. I don't like that feeling, Lyn."

My eyes are burning, tears threatening to spill down my face. Alistair's voice was very sad, and I'm terrified that he's decided to end us. My hand grips my sword even tighter, my fingers turning white with the effort.

"Alistair..."

I choke back a sob and look away from him, pretending to scan the forest for any more animals wanting to attack us. The pain in my heart hurts worse then when that abomination attacked me. I take a deep breath and try to regain control of my emotions. I've survived without anyone before, I can do it again. I refuse to go down without a fight however. I square my shoulders and look Alistair in the eye before speaking.

"I've always been open with you about how I feel, Alistair. I would never cheat on you, but if you can't trust me... well, then maybe I'm not the right person for you. Do what you think you must."

I hold my gaze steady and keep my chin high, managing to not falter or break down as I speak. He doesn't answer right away, and his brown eyes are unreadable. Determined not to be hurt anymore, I start to walk faster, to put some distance between us. I get just a few steps away when his gauntlet covered hand grabs me by the shoulder and turns me around. Before I can react his arms are around me and his lips on mine.

Relief and passion flood my body, a mixture of cool and hot in my veins. I give him everything I have in the kiss, telling him how desperately afraid of losing him I am. He gives back as much as he receives and then some. Our bodies do the talking where words have failed us. We finally break the kiss to catch our breath, and I tuck my head under his chin, my arms wrapped around his middle. His armor gets in the way of properly hugging him but I don't care at this point. I let my eyes close and just enjoy being held for a moment.

"If you two are done making out and all that shit, we do have things we should be *hic* doing."

Oghren's voice trails behind him as he walks by us, his weapon resting on his shoulder and his flask in his other hand. I look up into Alistair's eyes and see amusement.

"He does have a point, love."

"Yes he does. But I need to know, are we okay now?"

We're still holding each other, only pulling apart enough to make eye contact.

"Aye, we're okay. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, dear."

I smile at him, lifting a hand to straighten his helmet before giving him a quick kiss on the chin. He smiles back at me before letting me go so we can catch up with the others.


	34. Chapter 34

Talking werewolves, possessed trees, shades trapping travelers, a crazed blood mage, elven ruins, darkspawn and a rhyming oak tree. This forest is certainly anything but normal. I've tried to convince Swiftrunner and the other werewolves that I only want to talk, but they refuse to believe me.

I'm glad I listened to my gut when it told me that Zathrian wasn't telling me the whole truth. He has something to do with this, I just know it. Up until a little while ago I'd managed not to fight any of the werewolves who weren't rabid or tainted.

"A moment, kadan."

Surprised, I turn to look at Sten and wait for him to continue.

"If you wish to proceed into the ruin, I recommend that you bring me back to the Dalish camp first."

Confused, I look at Sten closely, and kick myself for not noticing how pale he's gotten.

"You're injured? Why did you not tell me sooner?"

"I misjudged how deep the wound was, a foolish mistake."

There is no need to chastise Sten, I'm sure he's doing a fine job of that on his own. I hand him a healing potion to drink and then wave Alistair to scout ahead while we make our way back to the Dalish as fast as Sten can go.

The going isn't easy, but we get Sten back to camp before he falls over. He's even paler then before and blood is dripping between the plates of his armor. Wynne and Morrigan take over as soon as they find out what happened. I know Sten will be fine if he just lets himself be cared for, and give him an order to that effect. He doesn't look pleased, but he knows that I'm right.

My concern for Sten has distracted me from anything else, and I fail to notice Leliana approaching me till it's too late to escape.

"I see you've chosen Alistair..."

Bah! So not a good time for this! Damn it all! Mine as well get it over with...

"Look, Leliana... I never meant to give you the impression that I considered you anything more then a friend. I never thought of you in... that way. I've loved Alistair since the moment I met him, and that won't change no matter what happens."

Leliana looks crushed. I'd feel worse about all this if she hadn't almost destroyed my relationship with Alistair. As it is, I only feel a bit sad for her.

"I... I see. Thank you for being honest with me."

Leliana turns and almost runs away from me. I happily turn my attention to Wynne who is approaching.

"Sten will be fine, he just needs to rest."

"Thank you Wynne. Do you think Morrigan can handle him? I need to go back into the woods, and I'd like you to come in Sten's place."

"Yes, she can handle him fine."

"Good, perhaps we'll run into Aneirin on the way to the ruins."

When I mention Aneirin Wynne gets a look of wistful hope.

"I know Sarel and the others said he'd be there, but I still find it hard to believe that he's alive."

"If he's alive, we will find him. I promise you that."


	35. Chapter 35

Wynne's reunion with Aneirin was a bit awkward but I think it gave Wynne some closure. Deciding to bring her into the ruins with us was a smart decision. Her healing abilities have been very useful as the ruin was crawling with all sorts of hostile creatures. Some day, if I live and if I ever get back to a somewhat normal life, I'd like to come back and study these ruins. They're very old and very elven. I've managed to catch a glimpse of what the world was like when the elves were at their height of power and it was amazing.

Zathrian is dead, and so is the Lady of the Forest. I can understand why Zathrian originally cursed the humans, but punishing generation after generation for the faults of their ancestors was too much. That he did nothing when his own people began to suffer was shameful. Lanaya and I have discussed his actions in great detail. I think she will be an excellent keeper for this clan.

With the curse broken, the Dalish camp has a much different atmosphere. The groaning of the wounded no longer dominates the air. Instead there is a hum of talk and preparation for battle. Alistair and I have agreed that we don't need to depart till the morning, so we'll camp with the Dalish one more night.

Master Varathorn and I just finished discussing his work with ironbark. It was wonderful to have a conversation about something nice and normal that doesn't involve political intrigue or war. The sky is darkening and the stars sparkle through the trees. Laughter around a fire draws my attention. Zevran is telling a story to young Cammen and the others seem to be enjoying the telling. I can't help but smile to myself.

I'm enjoying leaning on a tree just outside the ring of light cast by the large fire. Observing people is something I enjoy, and there is a lot to observe here. The whole clan is less tense now that they know there will be no more surprise attacks from the werewolves.

The clan wasn't exactly hostile when we arrived, perhaps unfriendly is a better word. Now we've become accepted it seems. The simpler life of the Dalish seems to agree with everyone in my little group. Leliana has been occupying herself by making Sarel tell her all the stories he knows. Poor Sarel, he doesn't appreciate all her references to the Maker and Andraste and she seems oblivious to his discomfort.

"There you are."

Alistair is smiling at me, and he's in regular clothes, it's odd to see him without his armor. Mithra and her patrol refused my offer for some of us to help stand guard for the night, so for once none of my party will go without sleep for the night. I'm still in my armor, I've gotten so used to wearing it constantly that I rarely think about wearing a robe or a dress anymore.

"Here I am."

Alistair smiles at my slightly sarcastic reply. I offer him a warm one in return. His simple tunic and breeches are giving me evil thoughts. As if reading my mind, Alistair steps closer and curls his fingers around my wrist and pulls me towards him. I don't resist and follow him deeper into the darkness and farther from the rest of the camp.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see, love."

Mischief flickers across his face, or at least I think that's what I see in the darkness. Intrigued, I keep following him, and let out a gasp of surprise when we reach a small clearing next to the river bank. A small fire flickers, the light from it showing a barrel converted into a bath tub with steam rising from the water in it.

"Oh, Alistair! A bath? A real bath?"

My joy at the prospect of actually getting clean is very evident, as I'm jumping up and down with joy. It's been too cold to bathe in the rivers we've been near as of late. I haven't been able to truly get clean since we left Redcliffe.

"I thought you'd like it. I'll stand guard while you bathe and make sure no hungry critters try to sneak up on you."

"Oh, thank you!"

I leap at him and throw my arms around his neck and slap a big wet kiss on his cheek. Then I strip out of my armor and small clothes in record time. A sound of utter bliss escapes me as I sink into the warm water. I almost don't fit, but I make it work. I stay in the water till it grows cold, managing to wash my hair at one point. It's a good thing Alistair is standing guard, because I've been so involved in my bath that I wouldn't have noticed if a hoard of darkspawn were approaching.

The cold air gives me goose bumps as I quickly dress in the clothes Alistair had the forethought to set out for me. I'm surprised to find it's my spare small clothes and a soft wool dress I've never seen before. Amazingly the dress fits me perfectly, it's long sleeves drape elegantly and I marvel at them.

"Do you like it, then?"

Alistair's voice catches me by surprise.

"The dress?"

"Yes, the dress! What else would I be asking about?"

I blush a bit and realize that he must have bought this for me at some point during our travels. From what I can see in the dim light, the dress is a beautiful bright blue with a grey sash at the waist. Grey Warden colors...

"I love it, Alistair."

Now it's his turn to blush. We stay quiet as we clean up the remnants of the bath and put out the fire. I tuck my dagger inside one of my boots and slip Spellweaver under the sash on the dress in order to carry my armor back to camp. Alistair has the now empty barrel in his arms and we walk in a comfortable silence back to the camp.

Leliana's singing cuts through the woods, and is closely followed by the sound of Oghren doing his best to sing along with her. I can't help but chuckle as I deposit my armor at my tent. I stow Spellweaver next to my staff inside the tent and wait for Alistair to return from giving the barrel back to it's owner. Then I grab his hand and hold it tightly as we walk up to the fire and join the others.

A handful of the recovered hunters and some of the other Dalish are seated around the fire along with the rest of my companions. A flask of some sort of wine is being passed around. Apparently Leliana and Oghren had been treating the Dalish to a traditional dwarven love song. Alistair and I take an open spot on one of the benches. Then, much to my surprise, Alistair lifts me up and sits me on his lap. The look in his eyes is full of a possessive gleam, and I reward him with a kiss on the chin and a smile.

I settle against Alistair's chest and hold his hand on my lap, our fingers intertwined and watch the flames flicker. My mind wanders to the conversation I had had with Wynne earlier. She reminded me that it has been almost a year since the battle at Ostagar that began this whole adventure. The amount of time since then seems like longer and yet shorter at the same time. So much has happened. We've accomplished a lot, but have so much more to do. I've also made a lot of friends, and enemies. Being a grey warden is definitely what I was meant to do. I have no doubt now, I was made to fight the blight.

What I'm really grateful for however is finding Alistair and falling in love with him. Loving him has given me the strength to keep fighting all this time. I know I would surely have failed if I'd had to do this alone. Both of us have changed a great deal in the past year. Alistair is harder, stronger and much more in command of himself now then when I first met him. I know Duncan would approve of him. I have no doubt that if he becomes king of Ferelden that he'll be an excellent ruler, like his father.

Warm and safe, I let the night slip around me, a collection of memories that I'll enjoy at some point if I live past the blight. Shale, Sten, Morrigan, Wynne, Leliana, Zevran, Oghren, Dane, Alistair and I stay up far too late, enjoying the wine and respite from our mission. Eventually, we all slip away to our beds.


	36. Chapter 36

Morning dawns misty and cool. I change back into my armor and pack the wool dress carefully, wrapping it around my Mother's necklace lovingly. The Dalish have been kind enough to give us fresh rations. We have two more small missions to complete before returning to meet the Arl, which works out well as it gives the Dalish time to build their army.

Sten has recovered well, and Dane has been assigned to keeping an eye on him while we travel. I grab something to eat while the others finish deconstructing their tents and preparing to leave. We have a long way to travel ahead of us. Wynne is approaching with a serious look directed at me.

"Yes, Wynne?"

"Alistair has told me of what you intend. I hope you weren't planning on leaving me behind."

Wynne's got her best stern school teacher look on her face, daring me to challenge her. Alistair seems to tell Wynne everything, which is sometimes annoying. He does keep secrets when necessary, like the fact that I didn't kill Flemeth.

"Of course not, unless of course you'd like me too."

"No, I want to go."

"Fine then, that's settled. You, Alistair, Dane and I will go."

"Why just us? Wouldn't it be safer to have our whole group?"

"No. That many of us heading towards Ostagar will gain attention. A small party will be able to move swiftly and stay out of notice. I need those documents, and it will also be good to get some closure for Alistair."

Wynne nods in agreement and then returns to packing the last of her things. I would love to bring a whole damn army to Ostagar and kill every damned darkspawn there but I don't have that option as of yet. No, I'm settling for rushing in and getting what we need and then getting out equally fast. If we happen to kill a bunch of darkspawn while we're there, then it will be less to kill later.


	37. Chapter 37

"Vaelyn! I'm coming!"

Alistair bashes another walking dead in the face with his shield as he tries to get to me. Our return to Ostagar has taken a turn for the worse. A darkspawn necromancer summoned an army of undead to stop us from leaving here alive, again. That undead army includes the ogre that now has me cornered. My back is to a wall, and the only reason I'm still alive is thanks to Wynne's spells. The damned creature tried to kill me like it killed Cailan, by grabbing me and crushing me. My armor is in shreds, the remains of my breastplate hanging from me in tatters. Spellweaver hums in my right hand, ready to aid me as I prepare myself for the ogre's next attack.

"Kill the necromancer! Don't worry about me!"

I don't have to see Alistair's face to know he doesn't want to do it, but I know he'll listen. His templar training is ideal for battling the necromancer and he knows it as well as I do.

The ogre roars and makes a swipe for my head, I duck and dive to the left, inwardly grinning as the ogre makes a noise of frustration as it's fist hits the wall where I was. I take advantage of the moment and throw a stonefist spell at it's head. I hear a growl just before Dane charges out of nowhere and latches himself to the ogre's hamstring. The ogre roars again and turns his attention to my mubari and ignores me, bending over in an attempt to hit my hound.

I see the opening and don't hesitate to take it. Screaming out a battle cry I run and launch myself at the creature. My elven blood serves me well, and I manage to climb up the creature before it has a chance to react. Spellweaver sings with a haunting brilliance in my mind as I bury it's blade in the ogre's head, the sound of metal against bone ringing through the air. The ogre collapses, sending me flying. Somehow I manage not to lose my grip on my sword and the force of my fall pulls it from the ogre's skull.

I land hard, but manage to tuck into a roll and come up fighting as a swarm of undead surround me. Dane charges and backs up till he has my back covered. I can't see Wynne, and I hope she's alright. Dane and I manage to fell a couple of the undead, and I can see Alistair trying to kill the necromancer. Blood splatters his armor and he looks to be tiring. Desperate, I use the last of my mana to throw a crushing prison spell at the bastard in an attempt to help Alistair.

The undead have Dane and I completely surrounded now, their eerie shrieks grating to my ears. I lose my dagger when it gets stuck in the rib cage of a skeleton and end up fighting with Spellweaver in one hand and my staff in the other. My arms are starting to turn to jelly, and my left shoulder feels like it's only held together by scraps.

Dane charges another undead and right before he gets to it, it drops to the ground, lifeless once again. All the other undead do the same and suddenly the clearing is silent. I immediately look for Alistair and find him pulling his sword from the chest of the now dead necromancer. Knowing he's okay, I turn around and look for Wynne. She's standing over near where we came out, a few undead lie still at her feet and she doesn't look badly hurt from here.

"Woof!"

Dane's happy bark makes me chuckle, and I sheath my sword so I can give him a scratch behind the ears.

"You're the finest war hound ever born, Dane."

Happy doggy eyes regard me while his little tail wags furiously. I give him another pat and then limp over to the ogre's corpse. Two blades stick from it's chest, and their bloodstained hilts look familiar. Intrigued, I stick my staff in a snow drift and use both hands to free the blades from the corpse. As soon as my hands have them free I recognize them, they're Duncan's. Joy and grief fill me, and I do my best to clean the blades off in the snow. I can hear Alistair's footsteps getting closer, and I turn to face him, holding the blades in front of me. He looks confused a moment and then freezes.

"Maker's breath... those are... were, Duncan's."

I numbly nod at him, and let him take them from my hands to inspect them. Wynne's come down to join us and stays quiet while Alistair and I grieve Duncan all over again. To my surprise Alistair offers the blades back to me, and I give him a questioning look.

"It wouldn't feel right using them. I can't really explain why. I'm just glad that no darkspawn used them."

I don't question, I think I understand. I'd already given him his father's sword, and Cailan's shield to use. He'd argued at first, but I'd felt that it was right for him to have them. His arguments had stopped as soon as his hand had grasped the sword in his hand. The blade had lighted up with a faint glow from it's runes, as if it knew it was being held by Maric's son.

"We need to get moving, before more darkspawn show up."

Wynne's voice of reason pulls Alistair and I back to the present and we turn away from the battlefield. We don't stop moving till we're back in the tower of Ishal. Not sensing any darkspawn anywhere nearby, I stop so I can try to do something about my armor. Wade's drakescale armor has served me very well till now, and I'm loath to loose it, but the majority of it is beyond saving. When the ogre had failed to crush me it had tried to remove my armor from me, like wrapping paper from a present.

"I don't think anything can be done to mend that. I'm afraid your armor is ruined."

Wynne's tone is well meaning, but I'm irritated that she's stating the obvious.

"Ruined? Are you certain?"

My sarcastic tone gets me an imperious look from Wynne and a suppressed chuckle from Alistair.

"I don't have anything else to wear, so the remains of my armor will have to do for now."

"That's not true, Lyn."

Alistair's statement catches me by surprise, and I give him a look that clearly asks what on Thedas is he talking about?

"We have Cailan's armor, and I think we could get it to fit you."

"That's a very sensible suggestion, young man."

The thought of wearing the armor of a dead king, let alone of a dead king who was my lover's brother is a bit creepy, and I raise my hands in protest.

"Whoa now, I don't think that's a good idea."

Wynne gives me a look that says very plainly that I'm being stupid.

"You need armor, Lyn. We won't be able to make it out of here and back to the others if we have to worry about you being unprotected."

"I have Dane, he's all the armor I need, Alistair."

Alistair's brown eyes have me pinned, he know's he's right and that I need to listen.

"I don't think you want Dane to replace your armor, love. I doubt you'd like him to jump in front of a blade for you."

"Oh the fade take you and your damned logic Alistair! Fine! I'll wear Cailan's sodding armor!"

Irritated, I begin unstrapping what's left of my drakescale armor, letting it fall to the floor in a heap as I glare at Alistair. Wynne snorts and steps out of the room, Dane following her, leaving me alone with Alistair. I'm having trouble unbuckling one of the straps on my shoulders, and I refuse to ask for help. Instead I mumble curses and begin to just pull at it in frustration. Alistair chuckles and removes his gauntlets, then moves to help me, ignoring my glare.

"Oh, stubborn little dragoness... drop your hands, you're only making it worse."

I direct an indignant sniff his way and stand stone still as he unbuckles the last of my armor. My wool tunic is torn, and the cold air that hits my skin makes me shiver involuntarily. As soon as all of the drakescale armor is off I rummage in my pack for a needle and thread so I can roughly patch my tunic so I don't freeze. Alistair just watches thoughtfully as I pull my tunic off and begin to sew as quickly as my chilled fingers can manage. I'm grateful that I had the foresight to pack the needle and thread.

A few minutes later I have a decent enough repair done, and pull the tunic back on before starting to put on Cailan's armor. Alistair helps me when I allow, and waits to say anything to me till he's behind me, securing the breastplate.

"If Wynne hadn't been likely to walk in at any moment I would have taken advantage of your lack of armor. As it was I was hard pressed not to do something evil."

My jaw drops open at Alistair's sultry tone, my thoughts had not been near anything like that!

"Alistair!"

I look over my shoulder to find his eyes alight with amusement and something smouldering beneath that.

"Vaelyn!"

He perfectly copies my shocked tone before he chuckles. His laughter is deep and very sexy, awakening a warm tingle that makes my whole body ache.

"You're such a cad to be thinking of that kind of thing while strapping your dead brother's armor on me!"

"Cailan had many suits of armor, I doubt this set had any special significance to him. And regardless, I'm sure he'd agree that it's better for you to wear it then the darkspawn. As for thinking of "that kind of thing" I happen to do it constantly. Hard to stop thinking about the perfect curve of how your back meets your behind..."

Alistair gets a look of dreamy bliss on his face and I can't help but blush. I always turn to complete jelly when he uses that sultry tone of voice.

"You almost ready, Vaelyn? My old bones can't take much more of this cold."

Wynne's voice cuts through the moment like a bucket of ice water. Now Alistair is blushing too, because nothing makes you feel more self conscious then knowing Wynne could have overheard everything you've just said to your lover. Alistair helps me get the rest of the armor on and then picks up my pack and hefts it onto his back. I move to take it back from him, but he gives me a quelling look and hands me my new helm. I give him an irritated look.

"Fine, be that way, my templar. I'll pay you back when we get to camp."

"Your templar?"

Oh Maker! I said my nickname for him out loud... I'm blushing again, damn it.

"Gah!"

Alistair is chuckling at me again, but it's a soft chuckle.

"I like it. I will always be your templar, love."

I give him a huge smile and a quick kiss before pulling the helm on my head and securing my weapons. I follow Alistair out into the hallway and Wynne doesn't show any sign of having heard our conversation. But that doesn't mean much, as the old bird is excellent at hiding things.

"Hurry up, child. I long for a warm fire and a hot cup of tea."

"Yes, Wynne. Would you like some nice mushy porridge with that?"

"Well, someone is certainly feeling better if she's giving me cheek!"

I give Wynne an innocent smile before lowering the visor on the helm and forging ahead. I'll be glad to be leaving Ostagar under my own power this time. We need to get Cailan's body down and burned before we can go. I'd love to do more but the sun will set all too soon.


	38. Chapter 38

The Arl is pleased with the armies I've raised. We leave for Denerim tomorrow, well at least most of us will. I'll be branching off with Alistair, Sten and Oghren to help Levi Dryden out. Eamon argued with me, but I told him that I stand by my word no matter what. Also, if this keep is all it's supposed to be it could come in handy later. Once that's done we'll meet up with everyone at Eamon's estate in Denerim.

Dinner with Eamon and his family was a bit awkward, as Isolde started trying to kiss Alistair's ass when she realized that he might be her future king. It was amusing at first, then it just got annoying. Teagan and I tried to have a conversation but Isolde kept interrupting. I think she's still thrown off by the fact that she has to be nice to me, the elf.

Other then her, no one else seems to care about what race anyone is. Both Eamon and Teagan treat my group as equals, which is refreshing. His knights have a great deal of respect for our group after fighting alongside us in the village.

I've retired to the Arl's large sitting room, which is full of my favorite things, books. I had changed out of my new armor and into the dress that Alistair gave me for dinner. I'm still a bit bruised, but otherwise completely healed. I'm curled up in the corner of a couch with a book in my lap. Dane is curled up by the fire, paws twitching in his sleep.

"Good book?"

Zevran's voice catches me by surprise, and he looks amused as I jump in place.

"Yes actually, I love history."

Zev nods and starts to inspect a painting on the wall. Soon the rest of our group trickles into the room. Sten and Shale discussing the Qun, Oghren and Wynne talking about ale, and Morrigan studying her mother's grimoire with Leliana trying to peek at it. Alistair is the last to arrive, and he takes a seat on the couch next to me, lifting my feet so they rest on his lap. A pleasant hum of conversation fills the room, and I find that I can no longer focus on my reading. So much for enjoying some quiet solitude.

"I hope one of you brought some wine, since you all seem determined to not let me enjoy my book in peace."

My statement is met with gasps of shock and indignation. I focus on each face, and it's the glitter of mischief in Morrigan's eyes that gives them all away.

"I knew it! Who told?"

Alistair and Wynne both look slightly ashamed. I groan and press my fingers against a throbbing temple.

"Maker preserve me from you two and your sodding good intentions..."

Before either Alistair or Wynne can defend themselves, Oghren stands up and walks over to me, presenting a bottle of wine.

"Who cares about their good intentions, boss? Here, have some wine, it'll make you feel better."

I can't help but smile at Oghren and accept the bottle. Zevran quickly produces enough goblets for everyone, even a small bowl for Dane who is now wide awake. Once everyone has their wine in hand, Alistair raises his glass and offers a toast.

"To our intrepid commander. Grey Warden, mage, and friend. Happy Birthday Vaelyn!"

A cheer goes up as Alistair finishes his toast, and then everyone downs their wine. Even Sten and Shale are smiling, almost. I feel very loved, surrounded by my friends. They've become my family.

"Thank you, all of you. I count myself very lucky to have you all to call friend."

The room is filled with a happy feeling. For once we're all not in armor, it's almost as if we're normal people celebrating. Rather then a band of misfits composed of warriors, rogues, mages, a golem and a mubari. Zevran produces more bottles of wine with a flourish, and Wynne helps him refill everyone's glasses.

Alistair is rubbing my feet, while Leliana retells our story in her best bard-ish manner. Shale cheers whenever she mentions a bird being slaughtered, which sends the rest of us into gales of laughter. Eventually everyone takes a turn telling a humorous story, including myself. My story is about the time Jowan and I accidentally turned Senor Enchanter Tillus green. Wynne finds this particularly entertaining.

"Maker! I remember that! Poor Tillus was so mad that the blood in his face clashed with the green color and he turned a nasty shade of puce! It took three enchanters two days to get him back to rights!"

"Jowan was certain the templars would kill us if the First Enchanter didn't first. At the time I wasn't that worried, I was just happy to not have to sit through another one of Tillus' boring lectures."

Wynne's laughing so hard that she almost chokes on her wine. We toast the now deceased Senior Enchanter Tillus and then try to get Morrigan to tell us a story. After a great deal of prodding and making Alistair promise to keep quiet, she agrees. Her story is actually funny, and not as terrifying as I was worried it would be. It would seem that Morrigan has finally learned how to be a bit social.

Just when I thought the night couldn't get any better, they start giving me presents. Sten and Shale present me with a book they found in the deep roads. Oghren gives me a flask of his private stock of ale. Wynne's mended all my ripped clothing. Morrigan's offered to teach me how to shapeshift. Zevran gives me a beautiful Dalish bracelet. Dane even drops a soggy cake on my lap. I try to say they don't have to, but they quickly shut me up, reminding me that I expect them to always accept the presents I've found for them.

We keep the party going awhile longer, but it starts to break up when Wynne notices me starting to nod off. She sends everyone on their way and gives me a hug before heading off to her own bed. It's just Alistair and I now, my lap piled with my birthday presents.

"I hope you don't think I didn't get you anything."

"Alistair, you don't need to get me anything, really!"

"Shh, too late, I already did. But first, let's get your loot back to your room."

I gratefully accept his help and hand him half of my newly acquired items before following him back to my room. We put my things on the desk in the room, with the exception of my newly repaired clothing which goes back in my pack. The arl has been good enough to promise to have any of my possessions that I don't feel like bringing with me to Denerim delivered to wherever I wish. He's even been good enough to provide a trunk for me to put my things in so I don't have to carry so much of it with me.

Alistair slips from the room as I finish putting things away, and I decide to take my hair out of it's bun and brush it out while I wait for him to come back. The fire in the fireplace has taken the chill out of the room, but the stone floor still radiates cold, making me grateful once again for my shearling slippers. At the moment I don't feel like a grey warden, or even a mage, I just feel like a fairly normal person. It's amazing what wearing a dress and slippers can do for a woman who's used to wearing armor. I finger the fabric of the dress and smile at the memories tied to it.

"Well, here you go. Happy birthday, love."

Alistair's slipped back into the room, when did he learn to walk so stealthily? Zevran must have been giving him pointers. He's holding a small wrapped package out to me, and I accept it with a smile.

"Really, Alistair, you didn't have to. I'm not just saying that, just having you near is more then I ever hoped for."

A blush tints his cheeks, but his eyes are focused on the package in my hands. It's a small box wrapped in paper and tied with a blue ribbon. I unwrap it carefully and find a small wooden box inside the paper. It's an ironwood box, carved with a dalish design.

"Open it."

The box itself could be the present, it's that beautiful, but I open the box as Alistair commands. Lying in a bed of sweet smelling dried flower petals is a ring made of what looks to be silverite. Intrigued, I pick it up and look at it closely. A design of a dragon in flight, surrounded by stars, is etched into the metal. It's breathtakingly beautiful, and my heart stops a moment when I realize that Alistair has had the underside of it engraved with our names.

"Oh Alistair, it's wonderful! It's so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so very much."

"I found it in Orzammar, one of the dwarves had found it in one of the lost thaigs. He was good enough to engrave it for me. The future is so uncertain, and I wanted you to have something to remind you of me, in case the worst should happen."

I slip the ring on my left hand and then place the box on the desk before getting up and wrapping my arms around my templar. We hold each other close, thinking about all the what ifs. If we both live, there will be a lot we'll have to deal with. No matter what Alistair may want, I know he won't be allowed to marry me if he becomes king. It's bad enough that I'm an elf, but being a mage is really the frosting on the cake. Ignorant Fereldens are terrified of becoming like the Tevinter Imperium. But that's a long way off and neither of us may live to see the end of the blight, let alone the crowning of a ruler for Ferelden.

"Alistair, I love you so much..."

"I love you too, Lyn. Let's go to bed."

I smile into his shoulder and only let go of him long enough to make sure the door is locked and to blow out the candles in the room. For now I'm going to pretend that I don't have to save Ferelden, tonight I'm just a woman who's celebrating her birthday with her lover. Morning and the responsibilities that I have will come all too soon.


	39. Chapter 39

I think Oghren was created to make stressful moments easier to deal with. We've just fought off wave after wave of demons and undead, discovered why the Wardens were banished from Ferelden and all he's got to say is what a shame it is that "the only skirt was possessed and scabby" and then mention that it still wouldn't stop him from hitting on her. Poor Levi looked like he was going to puke, as Oghren was after all talking about what was his undead great grandmother.

I've made Avernus promise to continue his research but ethically. The Grey Wardens need every edge they can get. Once Levi and his family clean the keep out it will be a fantastic stronghold for the Wardens.

As much as I'd like to spend the night here, now that we've cleaned the place out, we need to leave for Denerim in order to catch up with the Arl. Oghren's not happy about that, as he's at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to traveling with Sten, Alistair and I on foot.

We say our goodbyes to Levi, and then begin marching double time. Sten takes point and we cover ground quickly. The sun sets and we continue through the night as the clouds are few, allowing the starlight to light our way. We don't talk, and Oghren even keeps his bodily functions to a minimum.

Our efforts are rewarded, as Denerim is in sight by the next afternoon. We're less likely to get harassed by just slipping into the city this way, without the Arl's army. We make a beeline for the market district, and get a grasp on the gossip before reporting to Eamon.

We enter the estate, and I have to say that I'm impressed. The place is large and tastefully decorated. Sten and Oghren disappear quickly to eat and rest. Alistair and I start to head for Eamon's office when we're intercepted by Zevran.

"Glad to see you've made it back in one piece. You're just in time to meet the fearsome Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir."

The mention of Loghain snaps me awake, and seems to do the same for Alistair.

"When, where?"

"In about ten minutes, here. I took the privilege of using some of your coin to cultivate some contacts. They were hoping to catch us by surprise, but they underestimated us. I've already warned Arl Eamon."

"Good work, Zev. Ask Wynne to join us with the Arl. It won't hurt for Loghain to see that we have the Circle's support. Oh, and if you don't mind, I'd like you to stay with us as well."

"As you command, fearless leader."

Zev gives me a wink and a slight bow as he turns to leave, cheeky bastard. I pull my helm off my head, and tuck it under my arm as I quickly march to the Arl's study, Alistair close behind me. The Arl looks cool and calm, which is reassuring. He fills us in with what little information he's gathered in the last day while I quickly pin my hair up into a bun. Alistair listens quietly and shows a much more mature Alistair then the one I first met a year ago. I know he'd dearly love to put a sword through Loghain's skull when he arrives, but he knows that won't help us at this point. I hate politics, but even I know we have to play the game in order to get the nobles to back Alistair so we can battle the blight united.

A servant interrupts our discussions to announce that Loghain and his companions are about to enter the estate. Alistair and I fall into step behind Eamon, Zev and Wynne soon following us as we head down to the main hall. When Loghain enters, with his two companions, he arrives to find a cool and calm group of people waiting for him. His male companion looks a bit put out that we haven't been caught by surprise. He looks even a bit alarmed for a moment when he realizes that it's Zevran standing nonchalantly behind me. Ah, that would make him Arl Howe, the man who likes to do Loghain's dirty work. The woman on Loghain's left looks familiar, and I realize she was at Ostagar with Loghain, a knight if I remember correctly. Eamon greets Loghain with polite words.

"Loghain it is an... honor that the regent would take the time to greet me personally."

"How can I not welcome a man so important as to call every lord in Ferelden away from his estates while a blight claws at our land."

"The blight is why I'm here. With Cailan dead, Ferelden must have a king to lead it against the darkspawn."

"Ferelden has a strong leader, it's queen. And I lead her armies."

Loghain is quick to anger, and I cannot help but jump in.

"The throne belongs to Maric's only living son."

Loghain is much taller then me, but I stand proud, half wondering if he'll recognize the armor I'm wearing as belonging to his dead son in law.

"And who is this Eamon? Some new stray you picked up on the road? And here I thought it was only royal bastards you played the part of nurse maid to."

"Well at least you admit to the "royal" part..."

Alistair's mumble makes me smile, a cold smile that seems to make the female knight glower at me more. I won't lower myself to Loghain's level by letting his taunts get to me.

"I'm Vaelyn, of the Grey Wardens."

"You have my sympathies on what happened to your order. It is unfortunate that they chose to turn against Ferelden."

Bastard, sodding bastard. You wish to play with me? Let the games begin, bitch.

"I don't accept the sympathies of deserters and regicides."

"You should curb your tongue. This is my city, and no safe place to speak treason. For anyone."

Loghain's anger switches from me to Eamon as he continues speaking.

"There is talk that your illness left you feeble, Eamon. Some worry that you may no longer be fit to advise Ferelden."

"Illness? Why not call your poison by it's true name? Not everyone at the Landsmeet will cast aside their loyalties as quickly as you and these... sycophants."

"How long you've been gone from court, Eamon! Don't you recognize Rendon Howe, Arl of Amaranthine, and Teyrn of Highever?"

Howe steps forward with a slimy smile.

"And current Arl of Denerim, since Urien's unfortunate fate at Ostagar. The regent has been... generous to those who prove loyal."

Howe's creepier then I expected, and I decide to change the subject back to the matter at hand.

"When does the Landsmeet begin?"

"Don't interrupt, churl. Your betters are talking."

Oh no, she didn't! If Zevran hadn't grabbed the back of my armor I might have just thrown my self at the bitch's face. Much to my surprise, Loghain is the one to silence her.

"Enough. Cauthrien, this is not the time or the place."

I wonder if he noticed the golem in the corner start to inch forward with a look of irritation on her face. Shale can be quite good at looking like a statue when she wants, staying unnoticed till she moves.

"I had hoped to talk you down from this rash course, Eamon. Our people are frightened. Our king is dead. Our land is under siege. We must be united now, if we are to endure this crisis. Your own sister, Queen Rowan, fought tirelessly to see Ferelden restored. Would you see her work destroyed? You divide our nation and weaken our efforts against the blight with your selfish ambitions to the throne."

I step forward and fold my arms, taking a deep breath and looking Loghain in the eyes.

"If you truly want to save this land, stand with us."

"I should put my faith in untried foreign hands? Do you think I'm blind? Cailan depended on the Grey Warden's prowess against the darkspawn and look how that ended. Let us speak of reality, not tall tales. Stories will not save us."

Foreign hands? I was born in Lothering, what on thedas is he on about? Eamon has remained composed this whole time, and when he speaks his voice is matter of fact, not angry.

"I cannot forgive what you've done, Loghain. Perhaps the Maker can, but not I. Our people deserve a king of the Theirin bloodline. Alistair will be the one to lead us to victory against in this blight."

"Oh, is that all I have to do? No pressure..."

Alistair's sarcasm hasn't escaped my hearing, and I give him a sideways glance to shut up. Loghain didn't hear him, and has continued his tirade.

"The emperor of Orlais also thought I could not bring him down. Expect no more mercy then I showed him. There is nothing I would not do for my homeland."

And with that bit of drama, Loghain, Howe and Cauthrien turn on their heels and stalk out. My goodness, they are full of themselves... and crazy. As soon as they are out of sight, Eamon turns to Alistair and I.

"Well that was... bracing. I didn't expect Loghain to show himself so soon."

What follows is a discussion regarding our goals and what needs to be done in order to secure as many noble's votes as possible. It is an awful lot to process when I've had no sleep in the last forty-eight hours. Finally, Eamon takes pity and lets us escape to our rooms. It's all I can do to pull my armor off, let alone do anything else. Politics are more draining then battle! A soft knock at the door heralds the entry of a maid, who brings a tray of food and an ewer of hot water. I thank her and somehow manage to eat something after washing up.

Once my stomach is full, the full extent of my exhaustion hits me like a pile of bricks. Another knock at the door jerks me awake for a minute.

"Come in."

Alistair slips in and locks the door behind him. I offer him a sleepy smile before climbing under the sheets. He follows quickly, still dressed in his tunic and breeches, like me. I fall asleep with my arms wrapped around him and using his shoulder as a pillow, dreams of Loghain hanging from the city walls dancing in my head.


	40. Chapter 40

I wake in the morning to an empty bed, Alistair must have woken earlier and slipped out. I'm sure there is a great deal he has to talk about with Eamon. I wash my face and change into clean under clothes and then debate whether or not to put on my armor. I have no idea what the day will bring, and it's usually a good idea to be prepared, so I suck it up and begin strapping on the gold and black armor. I leave my staff behind and just carry my swords, safe in their sheaths strapped to my back. For a short little elf maid I sure must look formidable all geared for war. I put my gauntlets into my helm and carry them out with me on my way to the dining hall.

I just sit down to eat a simple meal of a muffin and some fruit when a page comes running into the hall. I inwardly groan and eye my breakfast with longing as the boy rushes over to me.

"Arl Eamon requests your presence in his study as soon as possible, my lady."

"It's urgent, I take it."

"Yes, my lady."

"Thank you."

The boy hesitates a moment, and I'm damn tempted to growl at him. Instead I just give him a level look with my eyebrows raised, it seems to do the trick as he then bobs his head and scurries from the room. My stomach grumbles, and I sigh with frustration. The Arl will just have to wait a few minutes more, I'm no good to him if I pass out from starvation.

After stuffing my face in a very unladylike way, I brush the crumbs from my armor and march upstairs to meet the Arl. I notice an elf woman standing next to the Arl, looking furtive and on edge. My face is set in it's stoic look, and I ignore the woman and address the Arl as if she's not there. The clink of chainmail comes from my right, and I quickly cast a glance that way. Alistair is standing with his arms crossed and a dark expression on his face.

Eamon introduces the elf as Erlina, Anora's handmaiden. It's all I can do not to mirror Alistair's dark look as the woman tells her story. I've gotten quite good at keeping my expression cool and calm, not showing how I feel on the inside. Supposedly Anora is being held captive by Howe, and she sent her maid to get our help. I do believe Howe is that crazy, but I doubt things are as simple as Anora wants us to believe.

Eamon sends the woman from the room so we can discuss what we want to do without her eavesdropping. Eamon seems to agree with my general assessment, but also points out that we need to garner any support we can find. Alistair isn't saying much, but I can tell he's thinking deeply.

"We should do it. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. If we rescue Anora and then have her where we can watch her, then we'll be more prepared for when she decides to turn on us."

Eamon looks surprised at Alistair's logic, but then nods in agreement. I start pulling my gauntlets on and then look at both men with a steely look.

"I agree, but I will be going with only a few of my people. Alistair should stay here. I don't want Loghain to have the opportunity to capture our candidate for king, or kill him."

Alistair's very displeased, and I don't flinch when he glares at me.

"Now see here, Lyn..."

"No, Alistair, Vaelyn is right."

Eamon's voice is commanding as he cuts Alistair off. Alistair tries to argue again, but I give him a hard look. He bites back his words and throws his hands in the air.

"Fine, but you're taking Dane, Sten and as much as I hate to say it, Zevran, with you. Zevran will be able to smell a trap, and if he fails Sten and Dane give you the best chance of getting out of there alive. I'd make you take Shale too, but I doubt you'd be able to sneak her in."

"That's fine. I'll leave as soon as they're ready. Arl Eamon, would you mind telling Erlina that I'll meet her outside the Arl of Denerim's estate?"

My polite dismissal makes Eamon raise an eyebrow, but I'm sure he can feel the tension in the air between Alistair and I. He sighs and then leaves the room, making sure the door shuts behind him securely. Alistair waits a heart beat and then steps closer, arms folded.

"Andraste's ass, woman!"

"Yes, Alistair?"

My slightly sarcastic reply gets me another glare from my templar, and I'm tempted to chuckle, but I know that will just make him angrier.

"You're a stubborn wench, you know that?"

"Never said I wasn't. I know you're angry, but that won't change my mind. You're our best bet for getting the support we need to stop this blight. We'll be screwed if Howe or Loghain get their hands on you."

Alistair doesn't argue, just stands there glaring at the floor for a good couple of minutes. I know he doesn't like feeling helpless, and knowing that I'm going into danger while he's safe in Eamon's estate will make him feel just that. He lets his arms drop to his sides, and sighs, giving me the signal that he's given in.

"You just be careful, okay? If you get yourself captured, I'll... I'll find some way to get back at you for worrying me."

"Aye, love."

I step forward and give him a swift kiss, before turning away and walking out to go tell Zev and Sten to get ready. We've got a queen to save.


	41. Chapter 41

Alistair is going to kill me!

We rescued the queen alright, and I managed to kill Arl Howe while I was at it. The sniveling bastard couldn't even die well, had to mutter something about deserving more. I feel bad for his family, what I've heard of them hasn't been bad, they'll suffer a long time because of his actions.

Howe not only tortured and murdered countless people, he also poisoned and captured a Grey Warden, Riordan, and then left him in a cell to die. I saved a Bann's son, an elf from the alienage, a templar, and countless others. The only one I wish I had left to rot in the dungeon is Vaughn, Arl Urien's son. The man is a sniveling bastard, but I need every vote at the Landsmeet that I can get. Zev was pissed that I let him live at first, but then settled when I mentioned that after the Landsmeet he'd be a good target for him to practice his unique set of skills on. My mother would be appalled at how cold blooded I've become.

We almost made it out, when Cauthrien appeared with about 30 men, heavily armed. I can't help but find it a bit odd that she arrived so quickly. No one left that dungeon alive other then the prisoners, and they would have never talked to any of Loghain's people. Plus, that still wouldn't give them enough time to get Cauthrien. Whoever tipped her off knew not only where we were, but where she was. I have a sneaking suspicion that Anora and her maid had something to do with this. Otherwise she would have stood up for us, and explained we were rescuing her.

I'd tried to talk Cauthrien down, but she still is in denial as far as Loghain's treachery is concerned. I considered surrendering, but Zev reminded me that fighting is more fun, I couldn't argue with that, as Anora had already snuck away leaving me without an alibi. And I did kill Howe, I won't deny that. The man was a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling.

I managed to fell ten of the men on my own, and wound Cauthrien. Dane did his best to have my back covered, but in the end there were just too many of them, and too few of us. Zev and Sten fought well, but got separated from me. I'm pretty sure what got me in the end was a sword pommel to the temple. My helm was made to stop the sharp end of a sword, not the blunt end. Everything went black and then I woke up here.

I'm in a prison cell, which is why Alistair is going to kill me. And apparently I'm pretty much naked, only dressed in my small clothes, damn the floor is cold! I stand up and do a quick check to see how badly injured I am. A bit banged up, and the knot on the side of my head is making me dizzy, but other then that I'm fine. There's a prisoner in the cell next to mine and he's quizzing me about why I'm here.

"It's a long story..."

He's not happy with that answer. He'll deal. The odds are good that my companions will come to rescue me. I'll give them a couple of hours, and then I'm making a break for it. I pass the time by using my magic to heal myself. I suck at healing spells so this takes a good deal of time. Wynne never ceases to wonder at how I can blow up a golem, but struggle to heal a small cut.

It feels like it's been days, but I know it's only been an hour and a half or so. Maker, this is worse then being in the tower... never thought I'd say that. Well I also never thought I'd be kept in a prison. This must be Fort Drakon. That's the logical assumption. Hmm, a guard is headed this way. I think it just may be time to get out of here. I pull my hair out of it's bun and let it drape around me, then I pull a strap of my bra down, so it's almost falling off my shoulder. I arrange myself in a seductive pose and wait for the poor bastard to make eye contact. When he does I give him a lazy wink and lick my lips.

"It's awfully lonely in here, guardsman..."

Poor wretch won't know what hits him. It only takes a few more suggestive sentences to get him in my cell and starting to disrobe. I don't even need to get up, I just hit him with a stonefist and watch as he hits the wall and then slips to the ground unconscious.

"You're a mage!"

I look at the prisoner and snort.

"You don't say..."

My sarcastic tone makes him pause and then look embarrassed. I don't really care, and quickly pull the guard's keys off of his belt. I grab his weapons and then leave my cell, locking the poor guardsman inside. I find my armor and clothes in a nearby chest and quickly get them on. My swords and knife are also nearby and I just grab them when I hear angry shouts outside.

I ready myself for a hoard of guards to come charging through the door. The door flies open and I start to cast a walking bomb spell, but stop myself as I'm greeted with a happy bark.

"Dane!"

"WOOF!"

I let my magic cool and sheath my swords before bending down to hug my wiggling hound. Alistair then comes running into the room, out of breath and splattered with blood.

"Lyn! Thank the Maker you're alright!"

I grin at him, like an idiot, and we just stand there smiling for a minute. Then Dane whines and moves his head to point at the door. Right, we need to get moving. I go to leave, but then remember the other prisoner. I free him and then leave with Alistair quickly. To my amazement we only have to fight two more guards in order to get out. It's not till we're back in the market district that Alistair starts to fill me in on why that was.

When Anora and the others returned, they informed Eamon and Alistair of my capture. As soon as they had Anora out of the room, everyone had started planning my escape. No one could agree on a plan, so Alistair and Dane slipped out while Eamon was arguing with Morrigan and Leliana about their plan to pose as chantry sisters. Then Alistair followed Dane and his exceptional nose. My hound conned his way past all the guards, even instigating a fight between guards that caused a distraction large enough to even sucker in the captain on duty. Alistair just pretended to be his handler and people ignored him. I can't stop chuckling as Dane helps Alistair with the telling of his tale, by showing me the act he put on for the guards.

We've made it back to Eamon's estate without a single attempt from anyone to stop us. Instead people either looked the other way or smiled at us. Sergeant Kylon wouldn't hassle me anyways, but it's good to know that I've helped enough people in this city to get some respect.

I march into Eamon's study, Alistair close behind me and Dane at my side. I've startled Anora and Erlina. Leliana and Oghren are looking surprised and Morrigan seems to be handing Zev a silver. She should know better then to bet against the Crow. I keep the details of my escape to a minimum, as I don't trust Anora. Only once she and her maid have left do I fill Eamon in on everything. We're both of the same mind that Anora is playing both sides. The woman is cunning, I'll give her that. But cunning and ambition should not be the main traits of a ruler.

Eamon's irritated with Alistair for sneaking off, and irritated with me for putting Alistair in danger.

"We're Grey Wardens first, Arl Eamon. Alistair will only be king if we are successful in stopping this blight. To stop this blight we need the Grey Wardens, which means Alistair and I are obligated to keep each other alive. You know this."

Eamon utters a frustrated sigh.

"You are right Vaelyn, but it does not stop me from worrying about you and Alistair. You two are no good to me dead."

"Well then, it's a good thing that I don't plan on dying yet. Now, if we're done for the moment, I need to get something to eat and then tie up some loose ends. I need to conduct business with some of the banns..."

Eamon ignores my sass, and nods at me.

"Good luck, I'll see you tonight at dinner then."

I head to my room, not surprised that Alistair and Dane still follow me. Alistair leans against my doorway as I rummage through my pack till I find the items I need.

"Earrings?"

I grin at Alistair and nod as I secure the earrings in my ears. They are brilliant sapphire drops, hanging from silver wires.

"I'm supposed to be a commanding woman, of knowledge and skill. I shall not meet the lords and ladies of Ferelden looking like I just came from a cell in Fort Drakon. By looking my best and being seen right after I was supposed to have been imprisoned by Loghain, I cast doubts on his rumors about me."

Alistair chuckles and shakes his head in amazement.

"For a woman who hates politics, you're awfully good at them, love."

"Don't remind me. Let's get this over with so I can go back to my nice comfy tent in the woods, free of people and their problems."

Dane barks his agreement, and trots ahead of us happily as we head towards the kitchen. I grab a snack and then head towards the Gnawed Noble to do some politicking.


	42. Chapter 42

Well then... Loghain will be lucky to live long enough to speak next time I see him! Selling elves to Tevinter slavers? The man has lost all of his morals... Eamon's equally appalled, and we will make sure to reveal this horror to the landsmeet.

I gave what money I could spare to some of the elves, and helped a blind templar rid the abandoned orphanage of demons. Then I wrapped up my business with the Blackstone Irregulars and the Mages' Collective before returning to fill Eamon in on the happenings in the alienage.

"The last of our allies have arrived in the city, we cannot delay any longer: I will call for the Landsmeet to convene. Bring Alistair and join me at the palace as soon as you are ready, Warden."

Eamon leaves the room as soon as he finishes speaking, leaving me alone and feeling a bit harried. I give my armor a quick glance and realize that it's still covered in blood from my last skirmish. I probably should get cleaned up before going in front of the nobles of Ferelden...


	43. Chapter 43

Maker be praised, the Landsmeet is over. Everything happened very quickly after my confrontation with Ser Cauthrien when we arrived at the palace. She tried to stop us from entering, but I reasoned with her and in the end she stepped aside and agreed that Loghain needed to be stopped. Zev was a bit disappointed that we didn't end up fighting her.

We had entered the chamber after that, and commenced to spar with Loghain verbally. Few were willing to step near me, as I had Alistair on my right, Zevran on my left and Dane at my back, growling at anyone who came too close.

Somehow Eamon and I managed to get our points across, the blight being the threat, not Orlais, Howe's treachery, the slavers, etc. And then came the sudden and inevitable betrayal from Anora... I didn't even pretend to act surprised, which seemed to irk her. I don't think she likes being considered predictable.

All my politicking came to fruition when it came time for the nobles to vote. Only Anora and Ceorlic stood up for Loghain, the rest of the votes were mine. Loghain's eyes started to look even crazier, and I was certain he was going to order his men to attack, so I challenged him to a one on one duel. He accepted.

I think he forgot I was a mage, as he looked surprised when I didn't draw my weapons as he charged. I fired a blast of cold at his face, blinding him and slipping a walking bomb spell in for good measure. Then I drew my blades and used all the dueling technique that Zev taught me. Loghain didn't even manage to wound me, I was too fast.

Loghain yielded, and declared that he was to die for his crimes. If I let him live, not only would Alistair hate me but the civil war would not be over till only one of us was left. I looked Loghain in the eyes, and I knew he was thinking along the same lines. Imminent death seemed to clear the crazy out of his head for a brief spell.

Riordan tried to make me recruit Loghain as a warden, saying something cryptic about compelling reasons to have as many Wardens as possible. Anora immediately latched on to this idea and almost became hysterical when Alistair and I said no. I let Alistair do the deed, knowing it would give him some closure.

With Loghain's headless corpse bleeding out onto the rug, Eamon took charge and turned everyone's attention to the problems at hand. Anora went back to her super bitch mode, and Alistair dealt with her. Then he started a clumsy speech, it was painful to hear and I whispered that he should just tell them what to do. My prodding was all he needed, and Alistair's whole baring changed to one of a man in command of his destiny and his people. He ordered Ferelden to prepare for the war against the blight.

We eventually made it back to Eamon's estate, Alistair splitting off with Eamon to discuss some things. I went to join the rest of my companions in the dining hall. Zev filled them all in on what happened at the Landsmeet while I stood in the corner and kept my thoughts to myself.

I've been thinking about my future with Alistair since we first arrived in Denerim, and I once again found myself dwelling on it on our journey back from the landsmeet. I'm sure Alistair did the same.

Speaking of my templar, look who's just arrived. He has eyes only for me, and they look worried.

"We... need to talk."

I almost want to laugh, he couldn't have said anything more obvious. I nod at him and walk out into the hall so our companions won't hear our conversation. There isn't a maid in sight, and Alistair closes the door to the dining room and then follows me to a corner.

"I'm not going to questions why you made me king. I even think I'm starting to come around on the idea, anyhow... it could be an interesting future for me. But... being king, that raises some questions about us. About you and me."

I've been thinking about this constantly, and I don't hesitate to answer.

"It doesn't need to impact on us at all, Alistair."

Alistair looks surprised, I think he was expecting wailing and gnashing of teeth.

"You don't think so? Maybe you're right, but I've though of almost nothing else since the Landsmeet. First there's the fact that both you and I are Grey Wardens. It's not just a question of obligation, but of blood. You know that Grey Wardens don't usually live to become old, right?"

"Yes, I'm aware of that." Thank you Captain Obvious.

"As king, I'll be required to have a child. Even more so because my death is assured. That's assuming that someone with the taint can ore even should have a child."

Something Duncan told me once tickles at the back of my mind. One of the conversations we'd had on the way to Ostagar, I'd asked him if Grey Wardens had children...

"Don't Grey Wardens have children?"

"Not with each other. Even one parent having tainted blood means having children is not recommended. All the Grey wardens I knew with children has them before they joined the Order."

Interesting, Duncan didn't tell Alistair what he'd told me. He'd told me of a fellow Warden that had a child. He wouldn't tell me her name or what happened to the child, but he did tell me that even though it's rare it has been known to happen. He'd told me as I'd been concerned that I'd never be able to have a family of my own... Crap, Alistair's still talking and I wasn't paying attention!

"... a wife, one who can bear a child. Who will live to raise it, but... I will have a duty as the king... I love you. More than I ever thought possible, but... I have to face what this means. I can't run away from it any more."

This is what I'd prepared myself for, and Maker forgive me, I refuse to let Alistair go.

"Nobody can force the king to do anything he doesn't want to."

I've shocked Alistair, he knows my usual views on marriage and mistresses...

"You mean... marry who I want? Carry on with whomever I want? You don't think that would be very unfair? To my wife as well as you?"

"Fair has nothing to do with it. Being king is not a punishment, Alistair."

It's a good thing my parents are dead, they'd be appalled at what I just said. I might die tomorrow, or next week, so I refuse to give up the one good thing in my life.

"You're right. Of course you're right. Damn them all, anyhow. If they want to make me king, then... then I'll be king. And I'll do exactly what I want to do. I feel like such an idiot for bringing this up, now. Can you ever forgive me?"

Of course, he shouldn't even need to ask, but since he has I'll take the opening...

"Maybe. You'll have to earn it, I think."

"Oh, ho? That sounds rather saucy. We'll have to discuss my punishment later on, I see..."

I give him my most wicked smile before walking back towards the dining room to tell the others that it's time to pack. We need to meet Eamon in Redcliffe...


	44. Chapter 44

Our trip back to Redcliffe has been suspiciously devoid of darkspawn... The fact that we haven't run into a single band of genlock scouts is making me nervous. Our whole group is on edge, no small talk and weapons constantly at the ready.

We finally arrive at Redcliffe village to find destruction. Damn it! I don't need to hear what the villager is saying, I can sense at least a hundred darkspawn below us in the village center. Alistair and I lock eyes briefly and then we draw our weapons. I motion to the others to fan out behind us. I double check that my helm is on securely and then start down the path to the village. A band of hurlocks with two emissaries are near the windmill.

"FOR THE GREY WARDENS!"

My battle cry catches the creatures by surprise as I charge, a cloud of icy magic proceeding me. I can hear Alistair's battle cry to my right as I begin to slice and stab through the hurlock grunts. The pounding of my tainted blood in my veins seems to be all I can hear other then the hum of the darkspawn. My companions and I fight our way down the hill and leave nothing but corpses in our wake. As soon as the village is cleared, I lead our party to the castle.

We've arrived just in time it seems, as only a handful of guards are left fighting the darkspawn in the castle courtyard. As soon as we've dispatched the last of the darkspawn, one of soldiers tells me that Riordan arrived just ahead of the attack. I thank him and then lead the others inside, the clinking of our armor echoing as we march through the halls.

Eamon, Teagan and Riordan are in the main hall, all armed and ready for battle. I can tell by their faces that the hoard has made it's move. Alistair steps forward and takes command, I can't help but smile slightly at the surprise on Eamon's face. We discuss a battle plan, and then Alistair makes the decision for us to march for Denerim to meet the hoard and the archdemon. I second his decision. We are going to war.


	45. Chapter 45

Riordan has sent for Alistair and I, saying we have "Grey Warden business" to discuss. Something tells me that this isn't going to be a reunion...

I say goodnight to the others, and head upstairs towards my room and Riordan's. As I pass my room, a flicker of movement catches my eye. Morrigan is waiting for me, uh oh. She'll have to wait though, as I want to get this meeting with Riordan over with.

"There you are."

Alistair's anxious tone seems to mirror my feelings. The meeting with Riordan is short and to the point. Apparently Duncan hadn't gotten a chance to tell us that who ever kills the archdemon dies with it. I always figured there was a reason for the taint, and I knew being a Grey Warden meant a shorter lifespan, but damn... So if I manage to survive this damn battle, it may be because Alistair or Riordan beat me to the archdemon. Andraste's flaming ass.

Well, I'm not letting Alistair make that sacrifice. If Riordan fails, I'll take his place. Ferelden needs Alistair as king and if he were to die then all our effort to stop Loghain and Anora would be for nothing. Riordan's done talking, and dismisses us. I send Alistair ahead and linger a moment longer in order to have a quick word with Riordan alone.

"Riordan..."

"Yes, Vaelyn?"

"I want you to know that I think we should do anything in our power to ensure that Alistair is not the one to sacrifice himself. If Anora is restored as ruler, there is a good chance she would ban the Order from Ferelden again. The only way to ensure the Grey Wardens stay welcome here, is to make sure Alistair survives to be king."

Riordan starts to argue, but I stop him with a raised hand and a firm look.

"You can argue that Wardens stay out of politics, but you and I both know that the order cannot afford to be banned from Ferelden again..."

He gives me a resigned look, and I turn and leave without saying anything else. I'm in a pretty sucky mood, and the sight of Morrigan standing before my fireplace doesn't improve it any.

Ah, finally... the other shoe has dropped. The real reason Flemeth sent Morrigan with us is revealed. They want the soul of the old god. I'm not terribly surprised, in fact this makes a lot of things clearer.

I'm having quite the debate in my head. I'm not entirely sure what to do. The old god isn't inherently evil, it's the darkspawn taint that makes it evil. Even if I decide to turn Morrigan down, there is no guarantee that she and Flemeth don't have a back up plan. I've a distinct impression that Flemeth always gets what she wants, no matter how us mortals interfere.

Of course my biggest objection is a purely selfish one, I don't want my boyfriend/lover, sleeping with another woman. But if he does, he won't have to die if I fail to make it to the end of the battle.

"I'll talk to him, but I don't know if he'll agree."

Morrigan gives me one of those all knowing looks of hers, damn her. We both know Alistair would do anything for me, and I for him. She's really got us cornered.


	46. Chapter 46

I talked to Alistair, and after convincing him that I wasn't joking, he agreed. I've been hiding in his room, as Morrigan never left mine. I have a feeling that she's getting a sick sort of pleasure out of sleeping with my man in my bed, knowing that I know.

I should be sleeping, but I can't. Between concern for the coming battle and the goings on down the hall, I cannot shut my mind up. I'm in a wool nightgown, having grabbed it and a few other things from my room before Morrigan started ripping her clothes off. I get the impression that she would have let me watch, creepy.

A large book sits on the bed before me, a present from Zevran. It's pages were blank when he gave it to me, and I've since filled two thirds of it with the story of our adventures. That way, if I do die, someone will be able to read the true story...

I pick up a quill and mutter a spell over it so it won't run out of ink. I loose myself in my writing, retelling the events of the Landsmeet till now. Occasionally I include a small illustration. My favorite one is a small picture of Sten playing with a kitten, he hadn't known I was watching. I've included sketches of our weapons, and a few spells I invented, along with a recipe for a dalish stew. The lamp on the night stand flickers and slowly dims as it runs low on fuel.

The door to the room opens slowly and I can't bring myself to look up, and instead continue writing. I can hear Alistair putting his armor down and then washing up with the ewer of now cold water on the dresser. As he finishes, I close my book and lay it on the night stand with the quill and then slip beneath the covers.

Alistair doesn't say a word, just puts out the lamp and then cuddles close, wrapping his arms around me. I melt into him, and hug his arms tight against my chest. Eventually his breathing slows and he falls asleep. After awhile I manage to sleep as well.


	47. Chapter 47

The forced march to Denerim was ruthless, and then the battle into the city was even bloodier. I left Zev in charge of the others and then broke off with Alistair, Wynne and Morrigan to seek out the darkspawn generals. Riordan went to lure the archdemon to the top of Fort Drakon. I had told Dane to stay with Sten, but he refused.

We've fought our way all through the city, killed the generals and watched as Riordan plunged to his death at the hands of the archdemon... or is that claws? He managed to wound it bad enough that it's stuck on top of Fort Drakon, as one of it's wings is in tatters. We've managed to make it through the fort and to the top floor. All we have to do is step through the door in front of us and then climb up one more flight of stairs to face the archdemon.

All I can smell is blood and sweat, my armor is covered in fresh and dried blood. Alistair looks much the same.

"Kiss for good luck?"

My request has caught him by surprise, and he rewards me with one of his smiles.

"Oh, what about our audience?"

"I don't care, silly templar."

The kiss is excellent, definitely in our top five all time best kisses. It's made all the sweeter by Morrigan making gagging noises and Wynne giggling like a school girl. Eventually we come up for air and separate. Alistair smiles at me again and then pushes the door open.

We charge into the fray as soon as we see the archdemon. Everything becomes a blur of blood, sweat, swordplay, and magic to me. All I focus on is the archdemon, I have no idea where the others are. I call for reinforcements to help with all the darkspawn the archdemon calls to defend it. I alternate between my most powerful spells and using the ballistas and then darting in to stab the damn thing whenever it's occupied fighting someone else.

Morrigan is knocked unconscious and I manage to get Wynne to use a revival spell on her. Last thing I need is for her to die and make the whole ritual thing worthless. I can hear Alistair rallying the Redcliffe knights as the Archdemon calls for another army of darkspawn to aid it.

My arms feel like lead, and my throat burns from all the lyrium potions I've drunk. The animated dead I raised is screeching as a shriek rips it's arm off. I swing my sword and lop it's head off and then turn back to the archdemon. It's moving slower, I think I've finally poked enough holes in it. Black blood is pooled around it, and it roars as my walking bomb spell causes it to loose more and slumps to the ground. It's time to make my move.

I drop my sword and run towards the corpse of a hurlock with a broadsword buried in it's chest and wrench it free. The thing tries to rise when it sees me charge, and manages to hiss and lunge at me. Trusting my instincts I slide to my knees and raise the sword, slicing the underside of it's neck from throat to chest. I duck and move to the side just in time, as the archdemon roars, and falls to the ground. I'm breathing hard, and take a deep breath right before I raise the blade and sink it into the monster's skull with a roar of my own.

Alistair and Wynne rush forward but are kept back as a bright light breaks free of the creature. I'm stuck, I can't pull the blade free or release my hands from it. I fight and try my best to get free. I finally pull free, only to have an explosion send me flying. I hit ground hard, ears ringing and blinded. Blackness fills my mind and I happily let it take me, as I sense the remains of the darkspawn hoard retreating...


	48. Chapter 48

"Lyn, you've got a death grip on my hand again. It's turning white... please wake up."

Ugh, my head feels like it weighs a ton. Alistair's concerned voice worries me.

"Alistair?"

"Yes, love."

I gingerly open my eyes to find myself on a bed, with Alistair sitting in a chair next to it, my hand holding tightly on his.

"We really need to stop meeting like this. If I didn't know better I'd say you were drugging me so you could take advantage of me."

"Oh yes, that's me. I love taking advantage of unconscious mages who could fry me with a thought..."

Alistair chuckles and I manage to smile at him.

"Well, what's the damage?"

"Well, you broke an arm, and got quite the knock on the head from the blast. The arm is mostly mended, as Wynne recruited some of the circle mages to help heal you. You've only been out for a day. The darkspawn have retreated, and I have the armies pursuing them. Because we stopped the generals, not all of Denerim was lost. The palace and Eamon's estate are pretty much intact."

"Not that bad, all considering. How about you? Any major injuries?"

"Well, I've got quite the bruised ego, as some crazy elven woman went and killed the big bad archdemon that I was supposed to kill..."

Alistair gives me an accusatory glare, and I can't help but blush a bit.

"Um, you snooze, you loose?"

He snorts at me and rolls his eyes, and I do my best to give him an innocent looking smile.

"Stubborn woman, almost got yourself killed."

"Yup."

"It doesn't help me any, when you agree with me. I had quite the argument planned, but when you agree with me it makes me forget what I was going to say."

"Sorry, dear."

"Oh you will be... Seeing as you're conscious, you'll have to attend the coronation celebration tomorrow."

"Argh! I don't want to go to some stuffy party."

"Well, you're the Hero of Ferelden now, you have a civic duty to fulfill."

"You're a cruel bastard, Alistair."

"Cruel royal bastard, dear. If you're going to insult me at least get the title right."

I reward his smartass comment with a pillow to the face, which makes him fall out of his chair. The sound of him crashing to the ground sends Wynne rushing into the room, she instantly figures out what happened and gives the both of us a disappointed and slightly annoyed look.

After she leaves, Alistair and I make up... the fun way.


	49. Chapter 49

Alistair's gotten pretty good at giving speeches. If he keeps improving this fast in other areas, he'll be a far better ruler then his brother was. It's weird to be in the Landsmeet chamber again. Especially as there is no undercurrent of hostility and tension this time. Alistair keeps praising me, and it's making me feel a bit embarrassed. I just did what I had to do, he knows that.

He offers a boon, and I ask for the Circle of Magi to be granted it's independence. He doesn't even bat an eyelash, just grants it. I'm sure we'll have to deal with the chantry, but at least it's a start in the right direction. I mingle with the guests and manage to catch up with all my former companions. Leliana brought her nug with her, I really won't miss that thing...

The First Enchanter is here, and I speak with him briefly before making my way to the others. Wynne is going to travel with Shale, and enjoy what time she has left. Sten is almost emotional, he leaves for Par Vollen tomorrow. I think he almost had a heart attack when I hugged him, but then he thawed when I told him that I'd had someone make sure to have cookies packed with his luggage.

Everyone wants to know what I plan on doing next, including Alistair. It's hard to get used to the idea that the blight is over. It's been my driving force for over a year now. I guess I'll stay and help Alistair get adjusted to his new position of power, for now. I'm sure the Grey Wardens will want me for something soon enough, so I should enjoy having time to be near my templar while it lasts.

Alistair's giving me a funny look, I must have let my thoughts show on my face. I've walked back up to the dais to speak with him. He casts a quick glance around the room and then gives me a smile.

"So we made it. I'm impressed, aren't you? I was so scared that I might lose you, but... here you are. And here I am. Not Bad, right?"

"Not bad at all."

"I bet this had something to do with that night. With Morrigan. Why you're still here, I mean. I'm not that dumb. The rest of the Grey Wardens haven't arrived yet from Orlais, but they've already sent... questions. What should I tell them?"

I figured they'd want to know how I survived. I'm horrible at lying, always gives me a case of the giggles.

"Tell them the truth?"

"That a maleficar saved you and then ran off to have my demon baby? That has a certain ring to it, right? No, I suppose I'll just keep that to myself. I can shrug and look stupid. It's a talent. Speaking of Morrigan, do you know where she went? I'm told she vanished right after the battle. No good-byes or anything."

I have ideas about where Morrigan went, but for now I'll leave them be.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I want to."

"Good riddance, I say. At any rate, I can't wait to be alone with you. These formal affairs drive me insane."

"Meet you upstairs later?"

My whispered question is answered with a smile.

"Oh, I'll be waiting, don't you worry."

I can't help but chuckle softly.

"Well then, I'll see you later, your highness. I have an adoring public to see too..."

I make my way towards the big doors, and then out onto the balcony. Cheering and smiling faces overwhelm me. Maker, who would have thought that the cranky little elven mage from Lothering would end up as the Hero of Ferelden? Truly mind boggling...


	50. Chapter 50 Epilogue

"On the count of three, the first one to cough or puke, loses!"

Oghren smiles evilly at Zev and I before picking up his mug. The three of us are hiding out in a back room of the Gnawed Noble.

"One. Two. Three!"

As soon as Oghren says "three", all of us raise our mugs to our mouths and begin chugging the foul liquid. Dwarven ale is not for the faint of heart. I finish my mug first and slam my mug down on the table with emphasis. Oghren is second and then Zev finishes just a second later. Then the waiting begins... we all stare at each other expectantly, looking for any signs of weakness.

My stomach is protesting the invasion of the foul brew, maybe I should have eaten first? Zev is doing his best to look bored, but he's starting to have a green tinge to his skin, which gives him away. Oghren looks uncomfortable, but that may not be related to the ale, as he ate a lot of beans earlier.

The minutes tick by and I manage to keep my lips sealed. Zev's color keeps getting worse and I'm beginning to feel a bit bad for him. I'm not doing too well myself, my throat is burning something awful. Maker, this stuff is as noxious as the darkspawn taint!

Someone slips into the room, closing the door behind him softly. He takes his cloak off and hangs it over the spare chair where my cloak is resting.

"Aww, you guys started without..."

"BLARGH!"

Zev's unexpected vomiting cuts Alistair off before he can finish his sentence. With a quick flick of a finger I use my magic to get the nearby bucket in front of Zev's face, just in time. The poor Crow heaves a few times and then uses a napkin to wipe his face.

I give Zev a gentle pat on the back and a look of sympathy but keep my mouth shut. I am determined to beat Oghren this time. He usually beats me, but occasionally I manage to beat him. It's rare but it does happen. Oghren and I have locked gazes, and I'm happy to see sweat beading on his forehead.

Alistair sits in the chair next to mine, and sniffs my empty mug with caution.

"Oh, big leagues tonight, huh? That smells like a nug peed on a pile of dirty small clothes that had been soaking in rancid cabbage for a week... no, a month!"

I was doing okay, but Alistair's overly descriptive analysis of the ale is just too much for me. I erupt into a fit of coughing, hand on my chest in an attempt to keep my lungs in place. Oghren is roaring with pride over his victory, and I manage to stop coughing long enough to give Alistair a nasty look.

"What's that look for? I didn't do anything!"

Alistair can fool a lot of people with that dumb blond act, but I know him better. It also helps that he has that mischievous glint to his eyes. I need to cough a few more times before I can manage to speak.

"Uh huh, sure you didn't..."

I start out frowning at him, but then can't help but smile when he winks at me. It's my last night with our little drinking club and I plan on enjoying it, there's no point in being irritated. Zevran leaves for Antiva in the morning, and Oghren will be leaving to go find Felsi by the end of the week. Not counting my ever faithful hound, it's just the four of us left. Every one else has gone their separate ways in the past couple of days. Ferelden is rebuilding, but is doing rather well all considering what happened. People are happy and hopeful for the most part, a decided improvement to the despair and fear.

"Alright you... king thingy, you... it's your turn to challenge me!"

Oghren finishes off his sentence with a loud and smelly burp. Alistair gives the dwarf a skeptical look and then turns to give me a questioning one.

"How many has he had already?"

"Well, let's see... I think he's had about ten or so. We've downed four rounds as a drinking game, and he'd started drinking before we got here... Yup, ten."

"Maker's breath! How is he upright still?"

Oghren gives Alistair an angry look and starts to speak, but interrupts himself with a louder and longer burp then the one prior. After that it takes him a moment to remember what he was doing.

"Or course I'm still sodding upright! Ten drinks is nothing!"

"Excuse me, my dear Grey Warden... I do believe I'm about to pass out, may I use your very appealing bosom as my pillow?"

Zev is having a hard time staying upright in his seat, but still manages to convey the idea that he is well enough to hit on me.

"Well, my dear Antivian Crow, I'm afraid my bosom is already spoken for. You are welcome to Oghren's bosom or the table to rest your weary head."

"You are a cruel woman, to deny a sick man such comfort."

"She certainly is the cruelest, you would not believe the things she makes me do, like becoming king."

"Oh, you think being king is bad? She made me wash my beard! And then the rest of me! Told me she wouldn't let me have a single drink until I did. Down right inhuman!"

The three men proceed to list my faults and the ways I've tortured them as they each have another round. Zev uses the table to help hold him up, I'm not entirely sure how he's still even conscious. I let them complain about me, I know that despite their words that they all wouldn't want things any other way. I'm their leader, their friend and the one they all come running to when they need help.

A couple more hours pass enjoyably and then Alistair and I take our leave so we can head back to the palace. We walk hand in hand, with me leaning on him slightly. The Orlaisian Wardens will be here in the next few days with my orders. I'm going to assume that rebuilding the Order in Ferelden is going to be a priority, and after that... I don't know.

However what I do know is that I'm going to enjoy my time with Alistair while I have it. Duty will call all too soon for I'm still a Grey Warden after all...

In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.


End file.
